Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Stuff I wrote when I was a kid -- Julia and the Big Bad Beetleborgs

This is one of several stories featuring Julia and also mentioning her in the title, and out of the bunch it's probably the one I wrote the latest -- unlike every other Supernum story it includes Zoombinis, which I was not aware of until my 5th grade year if I'm remembering right.  The others, of course, included How Julia Saved Fat Free Willy (posted on here) and another story I can't remember the title of, which if I'm remembering right was only Julia-related in being a sequel to the previously-mentioned story.  It actually revolved more around Upchukk the Blurby, who made his first appearance in that story.  Unfortunately, I no longer have a copy of this one, so I don't remember many details about it either -- all I know for sure is that several different Yuckow Foods were present along with a bad guy named Michael with a heavy-duty war machine called the "Dorkmobile," which Upchukk managed to stop by Blubber Slamming the controls and causing it to go haywire.  Also, I'm pretty sure Fat Free Willy got kidnapped again, because back then I probably wouldn't have realized how stupid the "same thing again with different levels" formula (see: Japanese Super Mario Bros. 2, the various Yoshi's Island sorta-sequel games, etc.) actually was.  At least elementary-school-age me put forth enough effort to come up with a new villain rather than recycling lame ol' boring ol' Bowser over and over -- he's not even entertaining outside of the RPGs, and even in them he's funnier when he's not forced into the taking on the main-villain role that he's not really suited for unless possessed by some other being or powered-up with some super artifact.  His antics when forced to team up with the Mario Bros. are infinitely better than anything he's ever done as the Designated Bad Guy.

...Okay, enough modern-Mario-kinda-sucks rant.  Unlike the above-mentioned story that I don't have anymore, this one is unfinished -- I did at some point go back and add a little bit more to the end, but never actually got to a point where I added an ending, and so this one (unlike the rest) will cut off randomly at the last point I wrote rather than having an ending at all.  Not even a lazy rushed ending this time around.  Knowing that, read on if you want to see how ridiculous this one is...

One day, Julia was sitting around and watching her favorite show, Big Bad BeetleBorgs. Just then, the badguy alarm on her Cute Kirby Communicator came on! A badguy was attacking Numnummorro! She couldn't go to Numnummorro herself, so she called Eddie. But no one answered! So she decided to head for Numnummorro. She went out of the house and heard leaves rustling behind her, but she didn't stop. She should have looked, because a few minutes later, she was running from an army of Parupoos! The Parupoos chased her into a clearing surrounded by trees on all but one side. On the other side,  a mountain blocked her from escaping from the Parupoos. It looked like Julia didn't have a chance. But over the constant mumbling of the Parupoos, she heard someone saying something. She listened closer, and heard someone saying "Beetle Bonders!  Beetle Blast!" She didn't have to guess who said that. But how did the Big Bad BeetleBorgs get out of the T.V.?

This is the only one of my stories that uses "Numnumorro" for the name of the planet Nummorro, previously known as Numnum Land... and I'm pretty sure it's nothing more than the result of a lazy search-and-replace.  You see, back in my mid/late elementary school years, two of my teachers attempted to enforce a ban on Numnums -- so any story that I had thoughts of turning in as a class assignment or even just sharing with fellow students during school hours had to be "censored" somewhat so that the presence of Numnums wasn't obvious.  In stories where Numnums featured, this was accomplished by changing their name (first to "Muns" and then later to "Nurms.")  Related terms like Nummorro and Supernum were also changed.  Later on, after graduating from seventh grade and escaping from the grasp of both of the Numnum-banning teachers, I went back and reverted these name-changes back to their original forms.  Of course, with me still being a little kid, I was too lazy to go through and change every mention of "Numnum" or "Num" by hand, so I fell back on the find-and-replace feature of whatever word-processor I was using at the time (this would've been the old "Write" packed in with Windows 3.1, I believe)... which led to some awkward accidental name changes to some stories.  "Numnummorro" in this one is probably the best (maybe only surviving?) example of this.

This is one of several old stories that mentions the "Cute Kirby Communicator."  This bizarrely-named device isn't ever actually explained in any of these stories, and I honestly can't remember what its origin was supposed to be... presumably it would've come from Nummy or someone else on Nummorro since it seems only those with ties to Supernum have them, but it's hard to even guess what elementary-school-age me was thinking.

Also, this story apparently serves as an explanation for the Beetleborgs being real despite also being on a TV show within the story's universe, which I suppose puts it sometime before Supernum Meets Commander Keen in the timeline.  And, by extension, it also has to happen before The Search for the Red Num, since Killer Kirby makes an appearance in this one.

And of course, there's another "never-followed-up-on plot point" here -- just like in The Numnum Club.  The "bad guy attacking Nummorro" bit is never actually mentioned again.

The Blue Stinger BeetleBorg stepped out of the trees and into the clearing, followed by the Green Hunter BeetleBorg and the Red Striker BeetleBorg. "How did you, uh, get out of the T.V.?" Julia asked him. "Flabber let us out so we could help the Numnums beat Killer Kirby." said the Blue Stinger. The Red Striker came over to Julia. "Hey Julia, I think we could use some Super Julia power to kick some Parupoo!" she said. "It's Time For Numnums! Super Julia!" Julia said. The Blue Stinger got out his Stinger Blade and shicked it all the way through one of the Parupoos, making it explode. All the Parupoos disappeared except for the biggest one. All three of the BeetleBorgs attacked the Parupoo with their weapons and killed it.

Apparently Flabber, despite being a fictional character himself, has the power to release the Beetleborgs from the confines of the TV and into the real world.  Also, some more awkward changes here as every incidence of whichever Numnum-replacing term this one used back in the day ended up replaced with the full "Numnum" even in situations where "Num" would be used instead (such as "it's time for Nums!")

"Super Julia" is apparently not much of a transformation, as she doesn't actually help out in the fight with the Parupoos at all.  This was actually intentional, from what I remember.  I'm guessing that at least the starting bits of this story must have been written before the Thanksgiving story, as Julia has a much more powerful Julia Dragon transformation there rather than the "joke character" form known as Super Julia.

When the BeetleBorgs left, Killer Kirby came and captured Julia!  "Let me go!" said Julia. But Killer Kirby didn't listen. He just warped to his castle in the Kirby Desert.

Once Killer Kirby got to his castle, he threw Julia into a cold, dark, damp room with nothing but a hard, uncomfortable bed and a small window in it. She looked out the window and thought she could see a small army of Numnums and Kirbys, followed by a few Zoombinis. She knew that they had come to save her, but it would take the entire Blurbyish Army and SuperNumnum to beat Killer Kirby.

And the Beetleborgs vanish just in time for Julia to  be left alone, ready to be kidnapped by Killer Kirby.  It's doubtful the Beetleborgs would be able to do much good against Killer Kirby, but they could have at least bought some time for Julia to escape or something.  Just like how Commander Keen was only barely more involved in things than the other random cameo appearances in Supernum Meets Commander Keen (and actually had less of a role in the big fight scene with all the assorted bad guys), the Beetleborgs aren't really major characters in this story despite having their names in the title.

There's another awkward accidental name-change -- Supernum presumably changed to something like "Supermun" or "Supernurm" in the censored version, and then got distorted into "SuperNumnum" when I went back to using the term "Numnum" again.  This is also the only mention of the Blurbys in adjective form in these old stories, using "Blurbyish" rather than "Blurbian" like I use now.  This also establishes Killer Kirby's level of power pretty clearly -- an entire army plus Supernum is needed to definitively beat him!

Julia thought about how to help them. She thought for a while, and later she got an idea! Her pet baby Kirby could fit through the bars of the window and tell the Numnums, Kirbys, and Zoombinis where she was. She looked through the door (which was open, but had invisible zzzters all over it) to the room across from her room. There was a girl Zoombini with long hair, glasses, a pink nose and a spring for its feet in the room. Shortly after she saw the Zoombini, a Barney came near her room, turned off the zzzters, and brought in a tray of food for her. The food wasn't very yummy looking, but she saw a few things she thought looked, at the very least, edible.

Not a whole lot to say about this part.  There's a Barney (back in the day I used "Barney" as a species name rather than the name of an individual purple monstrosity; now the individual would be "B'harne" while the species would be "Yenrab") working under Killer Kirby, and also a description of a Zoombini that pretty much matched the design I always tended to give at least one of them every time I played that game back then.  Also, yet another "food menu" scene coming up!


Julia took the tray of food from the Barney, who gave her a menu. The Barney left the room, turning on the zzzters as it left.  "Okay, let's see what's on the menu." Julia thought.
She looked on it and almost threw up. She saw things on the menu she would never even think of eating!
               
                           Menu:
roasted zoombini slices      yuckow food
fried kirbys                   toasted Numnums
poo special                   green bean pizza
green beans                   yuck shiskabob
barfaroni deluxe            Larfy Lettuce

And much like the one in The Search for the Red Num, there's a mix of things that sorta-kinda sound like food and things that are just plain gross.  "Larfy" was a term I used to refer to gross, wilty-looking lettuce rather than fresh crunchy lettuce, by the way.  It also sometimes referred to lettuce that had been infested with bugs, known as "larfies."

She decided that fried Kirbys would taste better than any of the other choices. She ate the fried Kirbys and left the rest for someone else to eat. But then she thought about that poor little Zoombini in the room across from her, and she felt bad about eating the yummiest food on the
tray and leaving the yucky things for everyone else. So she got out her portable Kirby roaster and roasted some small Kirbys that were in her backpack. She took the other kinds of food of the plate and replaced them with the Kirbys she had roasted.

And apparently Julia carries some (dead?) little Kirbys in her backpack which can be converted into tasty food with her portable Kirby roaster.  Convenient when you need to replace piles of disgusting food with tasty fried Kirbys on short notice, I suppose.

While she waited for the Barney to come back, she thought about how to escape from the castle. In a few minutes, the Barney was back and it took the tray. "I thought there were more yucks on this tray. Hmmmm...." said the Barney as it walked away from her room, turning the zzzters back on. The Barney was going to give the Zoombini some food. The Zoombini had seen Julia taking off the yucky foods and replacing them with yum! Fried Kirbys were the Zoombini's favorite food, so as soon as it saw them, it began pigging out on Kirbys. When it was done and totally stuffed, it said "thankyoujulia for *BURP* givingmethefriedkirbys *BURP* sorrybutialways *BURP* talkthisfast". Julia could almost understand the Zoombini and said "When I get out of here, I'm getting you out too."
The Zoombini made a happy "WEE *BURP* WEEW!" and went to the back of its room.

And oddly enough, the nameless Zoombini is referred to as "it" repeatedly here despite being described as a "girl Zoombini" earlier on.  I'm not sure why.

Julia saw the Numnums and Kirbys outside trying to get in. A Barney opened the door and said "WHAT! NUMNUMS! NUMNUMS AREN'T ALLOWED IN HERE! AAAAH!" The Numnums ate the Barney and went inside. The Numnums and Kirbys put the Barney skin on for a disguise. But the skin fell off. The Numnums and Kirbys  were running from the Kirby Guards!  "Get the Numnums!" said the leader of the Kirby Guards. "No! Get the Numnums AND the Kirbys!" said a smaller Kirby Guard. The Kirby Guards hadn't noticed, but the Zoombinis were outside trying to get the door back open to save the Numnums and Kirbys. They pushed and pushed, but the door wouldn't budge. It was locked!


Apparently Numnums have the secret technique of eating a Barney without damaging its skin in the process, making it into a convenient disguise.  Unfortunately, said disguise falls off easily and the notorious K'hyurbhi Guards (the strongest group of the Hoi tribe's army... among the K'hyurbhis anyway) come after them.

I'm not sure how the door got closed unless the Guards shut it behind the Numnums-and-Kirbys-in-a-Barney-skin after they came in, but apparently it's closed and the Zoombinis are trying to open it, with little to no success.

Meanwhile, the Numnums and Kirbys were getting very tired of running from the Kirby Guards. "I'm slowing down!" said Nummy, a Numnum. "We are too!" said an exhausted Kirby. "We have to keep going!" said Nummy. Outside, the Zoombinis pushed with all their might. None of them could get the door open. Then a young Zoombini had an idea. He remembered a card game he played a few days ago. He got out his telephone and pushed zero. After a short talk with the operator about long distance calls, the Zoombini called a number and talked with someone. Then he hung up. "Here comes some help!" squeaked the Zoombini.

Oddly, Nummy is just described as "a Numnum" here despite being a pretty major character in other stories.  And I'm not sure how a Zoombini operates a phone, as they don't have hands.

A few minutes later, the Zoombinis saw someone coming down the trail to the Killa Castle.
No one really knew who it was except the young Zoombini. He kept on squirming toward the Zoombinis. It was Scaled Wurm!  He could smash the door! He came over to the Zoombinis and went past them. "SMASH!" The door smashed into millions of pieces. And Scaled Wurm wasn't even near the door! What smashed the door? None of the Zoombinis knew. But then they found out who it was: Crobombug! Crobombug was headed toward the Zoombinis. Then Scaled Wurm jumped out in front of them!  What was he doing? He could get killed!

One moment "long distance calls" are involved, and just a few minutes later the one they called is already there.  I suppose with Num Warps possibly being involved that's not too unrealistic, but it's still a little odd.

And of course, the Scaled Wurm makes another appearance here -- though this time apparently its appearance is not the instant-win it was in How Julia Saved Fat Free Willy.  Jumping in front of Crobombug's attacks is apparently pretty damn dangerous even for a gigantic wurm that could eat the Kirby King, and surprisingly...

Crobombug charged at Scaled Wurm, but Scaled Wurm jumped out of the way. Crobumbug grabbed Scaled Wurm with his pinchers and threw him into the castle. "THUMP!" Scaled Wurm hit the wall hard.

...he actually manages to get a hit in on him here, grabbing him with his big ol' stag-beetle pincers and flinging him into the wall of Killa Castle.  Of course, pretty much all fight scenes in these old stories are absurdly short (I could've probably done some work on the Kingdom Hearts manga, what with the "short, disappointing fight scene"-writing skills I had back then), so you can probably guess how things go in the very next sentence or two.

Scaled Wurm got back up, bared his powerful Wurm teeth, and ate Crobombug. Scaled Wurm wiped the muck off his teeth. "I think you might need my help, Zoombinis" said Scaled Wurm. Then they went in the castle.

Soon they were all in the castle, chasing after the group of Kirby Guards, who were following the Kirbys and Numnums. When they had nearly caught up, the Numnums and Kirbys ran into a door and lost the Guards! The Zoombinis started fighting the Guards but were soon killed. Then Scaled Wurm ate all the Guards in one big bite.

Yep, the Scaled Wurm kills off Crobombug right away.  This last little paragraph at the end, after they enter the castle, is the part I'm pretty sure I went back and wrote sometime later than whenever it was that I started the story.  It's not much, though -- it pretty much just removes the Zoombinis from the story (it didn't take long for me to decide to remove Zoombinis from my stories; this one and one of the "lost" stories were the only ones that included them) after showing that they're completely pitiful when it comes to actually fighting, and then has the Scaled Wurm being overpowered again, eating all of the Kirby Guards in a single bite.

I honestly can't remember where this story was going to go from here -- there's no way I would've had the Scaled Wurm actually be capable of beating Killer Kirby, and so far there's been no sign of Eddie/Supernum in the story at all.  There's also been no mention of the Blurby army being on their way.  Maybe that's why I never actually finished it -- because I couldn't think of how the heck to continue it from this point back then, either.

Monday, February 22, 2016

Stuff I wrote when I was a kid -- Deck the Halls With Hungry Numnums

As mentioned in the Thanksgiving story's post on here, "Turkey Day" wasn't the only holiday to get its own Supernum story during my elementary school years.  There were also stories for Christmas (the one you're about to read), Halloween (barely started and never finished; I remember that Killer Kirby was going to get inspiration for new monsters from a Cthulhu Mythos book in that one, but I don't think I ever wrote more than the introductory paragraph), and Easter (which I wrote much later than the others -- maybe when I was in middle school? -- and unfortunately I no longer have a copy of it since only the older stories ended up on the floppy disks I eventually found them on many years later.  I do remember that it involved Barney as the villain, delivering baskets of chocolate bombs to kids' houses rather than actual candy, along with a gang of Easter-themed monsters which included "Gas Basket" and "Rotten Egg" among others that I can't remember now.  It was titled "The Easter Barney.")

Like the Thanksgiving one, they all pretty much follow the same "Killer Kirby tries to mess up this holiday by sending themed monsters" pattern.  But this introduction's gone on long enough.... here's "Deck the Halls With Hungry Numnums: A Numnums Story for Christmas." (Yeah, the full title as given in the original file is that long. XD)

     'Twas the night before Christmas and on Nummorro,
      No Numnums were stirring, not even Snoro,
      When out of the castle came a "KILLA" and a clatter,
      Nummy rose from his bed to see what was the matter,
      He saw Killer Kirby, BlackBeard Santa was near,
      And on the roof there were eight Monster Reindeer.

This one starts off with a parody of the "Night Before Christmas" poem, because of course it does.  I'm pretty sure this story may have been one of the first to be modified to use "Nummorro" rather than "Numnum Land," but I don't think it was originally written with the term Nummorro in use -- the first line flows better if you say "...and in Numnum Land" rather than "...and on Nummorro."  So I figure the mysterious "Snoro" mentioned in the poem went by a different name originally, though I can't remember what it might have been.

Not mentioned in this story: Monster Reindeer.  Not mentioned in this introductory poem: a second evil Santa Claus monster besides Blackbeard Santa (who again has the odd capitalization seen with Slambosh, Yummerplet, and Thanksdumming Turkey in other stories.)

Well, that's kind of what happened, but let's see it from Supernum's point of view...
It was the night before Christmas, but everyone was excited. They waited for their presents and some little Numnums actually stayed up all night and searched for presents. Even Eddie was awake. He knew that somehow Killer Kirby would try to mess up Christmas. Eddie set up bad guy traps which only sprung on bad guys (he didn't want to trap Santa!)  In the Killa Castle, Killer Kirby was planning on how to mess up Christmas (for Eddie and the good guys.) He decided to use two of his new bad guys. The new bad guys were: Toothless Clause and BlackBeard Santa. They would capture the real Santa and turn the presents into Creatures. Then the fake Santas would deliver Creature Presents to people so the Creatures could eat the people.

Apparently Numnums celebrate Christmas according to this story.  Yeah, I was a little kid who really hadn't thought things out too well when it comes to how alien species would work (they wouldn't celebrate not-even-2000-years-old human religious holidays, for one thing. XD)

Also, I consistently misspelled "Claus" as "Clause" in this story, as seen with the name "Toothless Clause" here.

There's actually a bit of a story behind Blackbeard Santa and Toothless Claus -- it's not just as simple as "little kid version of me came up with evil Santa monsters," oddly enough.  They were based on "evil Santa" monsters that a couple of my classmates in elementary school claimed existed and were hiding out in some room under the stairs of one building of Clifton Forge East Elementary School.  Specifically one of them claimed to have opened a door to... I think it was the boiler room or a storage room?... and ended up having to run out of there because this evil Santa was coming after him.  I'm still not sure if "Blackbeard Santa" and "Toothless Claus" were intended to be the same entity or not, but since both were mentioned sometimes back in the day, I used both names for two different evil-Santa-clone monsters in this story.

As soon as Toothless Clause landed at the North Pole to capture Santa, the elves sent an alarm to Nummy, who sent an alarm to Eddie, who warped to Nummorro. Nummy, knowing that Supernum would need extra help fighting these bad guys, gave him a new, shiny, red Num Coin with a big, white N on the front and a Numnum on the back. Just like his old coin, only with different colors. "How can this help?" asked Supernum.

"It will give you new, better Num powers." said Nummy. Supernum used it and his cape turned red and so did his suit. Then a belt grew around his waist. Then a santa hat appeared on his head and the N's on his cape and on his shirt turned white and the circles around them turned green.

Apparently Santa's elves are in contact with the Numnums.  Which I suppose makes more sense than a lot of things in these stories -- someone who's outside normal human society having contacts with aliens isn't too unbelievable, and how else would someone be able to get around to every kid's house in one night without using Num Warps?

Also, this story introduces a new Num Coin which seems to be vaguely Christmasy-themed, which apparently gives Supernum a pretty significant boost in power.  It's also the first time I ever actually described Supernum's Num Armor (specifically, the location of the N markings in circles on it), though for some odd reason I referred to the upper part as his "shirt" even though it's always been intended to be armor.  Those Ns are now Num Power symbols, which are basically identical to the Khurbyish letter representing the N sound.  So in a way, he still has Ns on his suit... just not in the English alphabet. XD

"So what? It's a new suit. So what does it do?" asked Supernum. "Well, why don't you try them out on the Test Bad Guy, you know? The one you couldn't beat before?" said Nummy. Supernum did, and he was surprised that now he could beat the Test Bad Guy. "My Numnum Sword is stronger, my Numnum Smash is bigger, and I can lift twice as much as I could before!" said Supernum, tilting Nummy's house to pour out what was left of the Test Bad Guy. "Go knock the beards off those fakes." said Nummy as Supernum warped to the North Pole.

Apparently Nummy has some sort of robot(?) test dummy thing which can be set to ridiculously high levels of power, considering that apparently there was one Supernum couldn't beat before.  Also, Supernum is strong enough to lift an entire house -- and the image I've always had in my head of this scene has him lifting it with one had, not even having any difficulty with it.  I think this might be the first of these stories that describes the extent of Supernum's superhuman strength.

I still really like Nummy's last line here before Supernum heads off, which is rare for a line of dialogue in these old stories since most of them are really bad. XD

As soon as he finished warping, he noticed he was surrounded by some snowmen. He walked up to one and Kirbys popped out of the snowman. Then more Kirbys, some of them holding spears, popped out of the others. Supernum was surrounded by Kirbys! He got out his Numnum Sword and started slicing one of the small ones. But then a big one disarmed him and he was without a weapon. He took the spear from the small one and used it to pop the big one and several others. Now there were only two Kirbys left: the biggest ones. He jumped over the first one's Spit Missile and popped the second one with the spear. Then the spear broke. He kicked the other Kirby and it rolled a few inches. Then he kicked it into some freezing water. Soon it was a Kirbcicle.

I find it a little strange that Supernum has this much difficulty fighting regular ol' K'hyurbhi thugs despite just getting a power boost.  A big one just randomly being able to disarm him like that doesn't make much sense, and why would he need to borrow one of the smaller ones' spears when he could just clobber the others with his bare (okay, gloved) hands?  Eh, let's go with "little kids suck at consistent writing" as the explanation here, nothing else makes any sense.

He walked towards Santa's toy shop, hoping that he would get there before Toothless Clause did. He opened the door. The place was wrecked. Broken toys were everywhere and ripped elf clothes covered them like blankets. Digging through the wreckage, he found Mrs. Clause. Her glasses were cracked from all of the toys that were on top of her. "H-h-h-help! Creat-creat-creatures attacked here! They st-st-stole all the presents and kidnapped Santa!" she said. "Where can I find any of the elves?" asked Supernum. "D-d-dig through the st-st-stu-stuff!" said Mrs. Clause, still shaking with fear of the Creatures. Supernum did and found a few elves. Their clothes were torn and some of the elves had scratches on their skin. "We tried to stop those Creatures, but nothing w-w-w-w-worked!" said an elf. "I know. I'll get Santa back." said Supernum.

Some of these old stories seem to use "Creatures" as a term for Killer Kirby's creations, and this one in particular even capitalizes it a couple times.  Also, apparently it was only Toothless Clause who did the Santa kidnapping? Not sure what Blackbeard Santa was up to during this.

 He warped to Killer Kirby's newly rebuilt castle. By the time he got there, he saw a pile of reindeer steaks. That's why he didn't see any reindeer at Santa's toy shop. He entered the castle. A guard pushed him away. "Can't you tell that no bad guys are here right now?" he said. Supernum warped to the first house Santa visits every year. Santa was there, but he was  being tied to a tree by Toothless Clause and BlackBeard Santa. "Stop that you morons!" Supernum said. BlackBeard Santa turned around and saw Supernum.

This story seems to follow shortly after the Thanksgiving one, as Killer Kirby's castle is described as being "newly rebuilt" (it was destroyed at the end of that one when he tripped over the rope with the Numnum Sword tied to the other end and smashed into it.)  And rather than being transformed into "Monster Reindeer" as the poem spoof said, the reindeer were instead transformed into reindeer steaks, which Killer Kirby and/or his minions presumably ate later.

Then both of the fake Santas charged at Supernum. Supernum ducked between their legs and ran over to the tree that Santa was tied to. Cutting the ropes with his Num Army Knife, Supernum released Santa and warped him to his sled. Then Supernum got some flying Numnums to replace his reindeer. Santa flew off in the sled, led by eight flying Numnums. One of the Numnums' eyes glowed red. Santa called him Poodolph the red-eyed Numnum. Just as Supernum looked back at the fake Santas, Killer Kirby appeared. "YOU RUINED MY PLAN!" yelled Killer Kirby. Killer Kirby lifted up his Shicker and said "KILLA!" A few seconds later, a zzzt flew out of the Shicker. The fake Santas began to grow until they were equal in size to Killer Kirby. "HA HA HA!" said Killer Kirby, "HOW ARE YOU GOING TO STOP THEM NOW, NUMNUM?"

Apparently the fake Santas are quite large even before Killer Kirby embiggens them, as Supernum is able to duck between their legs in order to get behind them and get to where Santa is.  And here's another appearance of the Num Army Knife -- this really must have been written pretty soon after the Thanksgiving story, because normally the random Supernum gadgets don't make multiple appearances in these stories.

Supernum's Num Gun didn't have a setting for fake Santas, so he decided to see if his new powers would let him "size up"  with the bad guys. He was amazed to see that he started to grow as big as the bad guys! In the distance he saw an old friend that he thought was long gone: Super Big Num! He thought that Super Big Num had been destroyed in an earlier battle, but somehow his new powers had brought Super BigNum back to life!

And here's the first actual appearance of the Super Big Num -- basically a giant robot Numnum -- in one of these stories.  The Super Big Num was going to show up (and be destroyed) in The Return of the Coraudos, but I never actually finished that story.  Originally this story mentioned that Super Big Num had been destroyed "in the battle with the Coraudos," but at some point when I gave up on Return of the Coraudos entirely I changed it to "in a previous battle" like what the currently-existing version of the story says.

Super BigNum bit Toothless Clause's arm. Supernum got out his Num Gun, put it on top of Super BigNum,  and flipped a switch on his Num Coin. Super BigNum charged at BlackBeard Santa with the Num Gun blasting lasers in all directions. While Super BigNum was killing BlackBeard Santa, Supernum got out his Numnum Scanner and scanned Toothless Clause. His weakspot was Zzzter! Getting a Zzzter Launcher out of his invisible pocket, he launched two Zzzts at Toothless Clause. Both of them hit Toothless and killed him. As Supernum shrinked and Super BigNum disappeared, Santa and his Numnums were delivering presents to Eddie's house. And at Killa Castle you could hear Killer Kirby shouting "I'VE BEEN GOOD, SANTA! I'VE BEEN GOOD!" as Santa completely bypasses the castle.

It seems the "embiggened" Num Gun can be attached to the top of the Super Big Num's head, as the giant robot Numnum has no gun-type weapons built in.  Also seems like the Num Coin has some sort of auto-fire switch for the Num Gun built into it, oddly enough.  And here's yet another random gadget that never appeared in any other story -- Zzzter Launchers! Pretty sure they were only mentioned here so Supernum had a way of using a Zzzter attack without the Num Gun since it was being used by the Super Big Num at the moment, as I don't think I had come up with the full list of Num Power attacks (which included a Num Zzzter) that he would later have -- only Numnum Smash, Num Punch, and Num Kick make appearances in these older stories (though there was an "origin story" for Supernum written in the later elementary school years that mentioned at least one other one besides those three -- I'll probably post that one here in the near future.)

And apparently I didn't know the word "shrunk" back then, as I wrote "shrinked" here instead.  Whoops! XD

And... yeah, that's it.  Not much of a fight at the end, though I suppose considering that Supernum got a power boost in this story it wouldn't make much sense if a couple of evil Santa clones had put up much of a fight.  It just seems weird considering how the brief clash with some random K'hyurbhis early on took about the same length of time to finish, I guess.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Stuff I wrote when I was a kid -- The Nummiest Thanksgiving Ever

At one point, I started writing Supernum stories that took place around major holidays and were overall at least loosely themed around that holiday (usually with a "Killer Kirby tries to mess up that holiday for everyone and sics a set of holiday-themed monsters on Supernum" pattern to them.)  This was, as far as I can remember, the first one of these stories that I wrote.  As you can probably guess from the title, it's the Thanksgiving-themed one.

Killer Kirby was sitting in his castle one day, not doing anything but laying around. Then he got an idea! He could use Thanksgiving-type badguys to roast Supernum like a Thanksgiving turkey. The first one he made was the ThanksDumming Turkey. He was completely impossible to beat unless Freeze was used on him. He also made three others: Stuffing Stinko, Gravy Ghost, and (his favorite bad guy) Mashed Potato Monster. He sent the bad guys to the backyard of Eddie's house. He sent them the night before Thanksgiving so they could ruin Eddie's Thanksgiving dinner. Then Killer Kirby made 3 extra bad guys in case the other 4 got killed.
Oddly enough, it seems that this one actually features a bit of a change in the status quo from my oldest stories -- whereas Killer Kirby was "trying to figure out who Supernum was" as of How Julia Saved Fat Free Willy, now he's fully aware that Eddie is the one who can transform into Supernum and sends batches of monsters directly to Eddie's house.

A lot like Supernum Meets Commander Keen, this one randomly capitalizes a chunk of one of the villains' names -- in this case, the D in Thanksdumming Turkey.  Also, apparently the monsters are sent out "the nigh before Thanksgiving" rather than on Thanksgiving night... so did they wait around overnight and only attack on Thankgiving day, or what?

ThanksDumming Turkey immediately attacked the house. Eddie heard him attacking and rushed outside. "It's Time For Nums!" Eddie said. Just as soon as he said that, he began changing into Supernum. Supernum easily knocked off ThanksDumming Turkey's attacks, but nothing even scratched ThanksDumming Turkey. Then Gravy Ghost came. Supernum was overpowered by the two bad guys and ran. While he was running, He put some Numnum Land Mines on the ground. Both of the bad guys stepped on them, but only Gravy Ghost was hurt. Gravy Ghost stopped chasing Supernum. ThanksDumming Turkey slowed down, but  he didn't stop.

...apparently not, because "Thanksdumming Turkey immediately attacked the house."  I guess I just got things a little mixed up as to exactly what day Thanksgiving dinner took place on when I was writing this -- I must have gotten it mixed up with Christmas, since there's both Christmas Eve (where my family usually had Christmas dinner) and Christmas Day (presents.)

Also, it seems like Killer Kirby's minions are getting stronger and stronger over time -- in previous stories Supernum didn't have any trouble fighting multiple opponents at once, but here just two of the Thanksgiving-themed monsters would be a bit too much for him to fight at once.  This is also the first (and only) appearance of "Numnum Land Mines," and they're not the last odd random gadget that Supernum will end up using in this story...

When Supernum was far away enough from the bad guys, he stopped running and threw out all of the mines. He turned on his Numnum Scanner and scanned the bad guys as they came near him. He discovered that ThanksDumming Turkey's weak spot was Freeze and Gravy Ghost couldn't stand Zzzters. Supernum programmed his Num Gun for Freeze/Zzzt and aimed at the bad guys. ZZZZzzzzz! A few minutes later, ThanksDumming Turkey was a pile of turkey cold-cuts and Gravy Ghost was a bowl of gravy. Suddenly Stuffing Stinko appeared. Supernum scanned him and said "Numnum Smash!" A few seconds later, Stuffing Stinko was a pile of stuffing. Turning back into Eddie, Supernum picked up the gravy, turkey, and stuffing, put it on a plate, and said "My mom will love this!"

...such as the "Numnum Scanner" which reveals the bad guys' weaknesses, for example.  Also, I'm pretty sure Thanksdumming Turkey's weakness to ice-based attacks is based on the way that turkey starts to smell absolutely disgusting after it's gone in the fridge for a little while.

I'm not sure exactly when this story was written, but I think it might be one of the only stories to feature both the "random gadgets" style of Supernum fighting and the "Num Power energy attacks" style in the same fight.  The Num Gun and its various settings (which in this story are elemental-based rather than anti-Barney, anti-dragon, etc. like in their previous appearance), land mines, scanners, and Numnum Smashes.  Also, the Numnum Smash actually has an appropriate level of destructive power in this one rather than just... knocking things backward... like in Supernum Meets Commander Keen.

When he got home, he put the food on the table and everyone ate. Eddie ate turkey, Julia ate turkey, Mom ate turkey and stuffing, and Dad ate turkey, stuffing, and gravy. Just as they were about to leave the table, Killer Kirby's back-up bad guys and Mashed Potato Monster came crashing through the window. "What.. are those.. things?" said Mom. Eddie didn't have time to explain. He turned into Supernum and calmed down Mom. Mom couldn't beleive it! Her son Eddie was the only person who could stop Killer Kirby and his bad guys! The back-up bad guys were: Cranberry Creature, Dressing Dragon, and Lima Bean Leprauchan. Eddie gave the Sign Of The Numnum to Julia and soon they both were turning into Supernum and Julia Dragon. Supernum went after Cranberry Creature while Julia Dragon chased Lima Bean Leprauchan.

And here's probably the first appearance of Eddie's entire family in any of these stories.  And of course, right when Thanksgiving dinner is about over, Killer Kirby's minions crash the party (by literally crashing through the window.)

This is also the first appearance of the Julia Dragon as a Supernum-esque transformation for Julia rather than just a random monster.  I think this might actually be the only story where the Julia Dragon makes an appearance, oddly enough, though she was going to be involved in a battle against Killer Kirby at some point (this was mentioned in a comic I started but never finished when I was in the later elementary school years, but never actually written down or anything.)  I'm not entirely sure what the "sign of the Numnum" was supposed to be, but my first guess would be a hand motion that resembles a Numnum opening and closing its mouth.  Also, I consistently misspelled the word "leprechaun" throughout this entire story. >_<

Another odd detail present in this story: Eddie's mom apparently knows about Supernum and Killer Kirby, but not that her son is Supernum.  No reaction from Dad though, oddly enough -- did he already know somehow?  But yeah... between this one and the Christmas-themed story I wrote later, it appears that Killer Kirby is a known figure on Earth in the later Supernum stories -- these two actually make it sound like he has a castle located on Earth now, rather than just the one on Nummorro where he was originally based.  Apparently at some point -- probably after the whole "sealed away at Camp Shenandoah" thing? -- he decided to target Earth rather than Nummorro.

Dressing Dragon, having a chance to grab some lunch for Killer Kirby, grabbed Mom and flew toward Killa Castle. Dad chased after the dragon in his stinky car. Mashed Potato Monster decided to help Cranberry Creature. Just as Supernum was about to beat Cranberry Creature, Mashed Potato Monster showed up. Mashed Potato Monster was one of the toughest bad guys Killer Kirby had ever made. Every time Supernum hit him, a piece would break off and grow into a full-sized Mashed Potato Monster. And Cranberry Creature was helping him!

Apparently Cranberry Creature isn't anything special, as Supernum only seems to be having trouble with the Cranberry Creature/Mashed Potato Monster combination due to Mashed Potato Monster's ability to regenerate whole new Monsters from random chunks of potatoes that got knocked off by attacks.  Also, Eddie's dad is driving to Kihlah Castle.  Yep, these stories definitely seem to have Killer Kirby having a castle somewhere on Earth rather than just on Nummorro.

Supernum called for Julia Dragon, who had stopped chasing Lima Bean Leprauchan when she saw that Mashed Potato Monster was going to help Cranberry Creature. Julia Dragon roared as she charged at Mashed Potato Monster. Supernum could fight Cranberry Creature while Julia Dragon distracted Mashed Potato Monster. Soon Cranberry Creature was a pile of smushed cranberries. Then Supernum went back to Mashed Potato Monster only to discover that Julia Dragon was eating him! "Yum yum, try these mashed potatoes." said Julia Dragon, her mouth stuffed with potatoes. "Uhhh.. no thanks." said Supernum, nearly throwing up.

Yep, Cranberry Creature didn't last long -- he must have been the weakest of this group, as the story doesn't even feel the need to mention Supernum using some special technique or Num Gun setting to finish him off.  Also, the Julia Dragon has the unusual ability to eat yucky food despite not being one of the bad guys -- pretty much everyone else in these old stories was unable to eat yuckfood without getting sick, hence Supernum's reaction here.

Lima Bean Leprauchan and Dressing Dragon were the only bad guys left. But where were they? Supernum turned on his BadguyMapper and looked for them on the map. He found Dressing Dragon. He was flying away from Dad's car, which was so far past the speed limit that if the police weren't so scared of Dressing Dragon, they would've arrested Dad.

And here's another odd random gadget, the "BadguyMapper," which seems to be somewhat redundant with the Numnum Scanner mentioned earlier (unless the scanner just can't scan beyond a certain range or something, I guess.)

I think this might actually be the first of my stories to do the "one thing going in one place, meanwhile something else is going on somewhere else" thing, albeit very briefly.

Back at Eddie's house, the good guys couldn't find Lima Bean Leprauchan anywhere. Julia Dragon's well-developed dragon sense of smell picked up the smell of lima beans. She knew immediately that it was Lima Bean Leprauchan. Supernum jumped on her back and told her to follow the smell. They were soon deep in the woods behind Eddie's house, where Lima Bean Leprauchan's trap waited for two good guys. Click! Something had wrapped around Julia Dragon's front legs. "I'm in a trap!" roared Julia Dragon. Supernum got out and saw that it was not just one trap. Two tentacle traps had wrapped around Julia Dragon's front legs! Getting out his Num Army Knife,  he cut the tentacles, releasing Julia Dragon.

They couldn't find Lima Bean Leprechaun anywhere... even though they have a device that shows you exactly where the bad guys are?? Weird.

Anyway... apparently the Julia Dragon's sense of smell can pick up on the smell of lima beans from a looong way away even though Supernum's mapper for some reason wasn't able to find him anywhere.  And here's the appearance of another random gadget, which I'm pretty sure Nummy was mentioned as using in another story -- the "Num Army Knife," which is basically just a Numnum-themed version of a Swiss army knife.  Why he couldn't just use the regular ol' Numnum Sword to cut some tentacles, I'm not sure, but there it is.

Lima Bean Leprauchan jumped out from behind a tree. "Ha Ha Hee Hee! You slow wimps will never catch me!" he said. There was no way that they could. Everyone knows that dragons can spit fireballs, so Eddie gave the Sign Of The Numnum to Julia Dragon, who understood and spit three fireballs at Lima Bean Leprauchan. The Leprauchan dodged the first one, but he was fried to death by the other two. Now only Dressing Dragon remained, so Supernum got out a Num Warp and warped to Killa Castle, where they would wait for Dressing Dragon.

Apparently the Lima Bean Leprechaun is really fast, or something.  But not fast enough to dodge three fireballs in a row.  Also, Num Warps seem to be described as an object here ("Supernum got out a Num Warp...") rather than just portals that can send you to pretty much anywhere else instantly.  I'm not sure exactly how they were intended to work back then.

Soon Dressing Dragon came flying by with Dad's speeding car behind him. Dad threw a spare tire at Dressing Dragon, who dropped Mom. The car's brakes screeched as Dad tried to stop. Finally Dad stopped the car. But Mom was falling out of the air and away from Dressing Dragon. Supernum caught Mom just before she hit the ground and put her in the back seat of Dad's car. Then he went after Dressing Dragon while Julia Dragon guarded the car. Dressing Dragon suddenly noticed that his lunch was no longer between his claws. He flew toward Dad, ready to eat him, but Supernum grabbed Dressing Dragon's tail and pulled hard. "YOW!" roared Dressing Dragon as he knocked off Supernum.

Eddie's dad is apparently capable of driving at high speeds and flinging a spare tire out the window (high enough to clobber a flying dragon, and with enough force that it'd make said dragon drop the one he was carrying!) at the same time.  Though apparently he's not strong enough to actually fight Dressing Dragon, that's still pretty impressive considering that most regular ol' humans wouldn't be able to do anything against any of these monsters.

Just when Dad was only inches from being Dressing Dragon's dinner, Julia Dragon bit into Dressing Dragon's leg. "Mmmmm! You taste good, Dressing Dragon!" she said. Dad ran for the car, got in, and slammed the door. Dressing Dragon was really mad at Julia Dragon for messing up his meal. But since Julia Dragon was equal in size to Dressing Dragon, eating Julia Dragon would be impossible. Several tail whacks later, Dressing Dragon was nearly dead. Then Killer Kirby showed up, towering over Supernum, Julia Dragon, Dressing Dragon, and Dad's car.

Apparently eating food-based monsters was a defining feature of the Julia Dragon in these old stories -- first eating Mashed Potato Monster and now chomping on the Dressing Dragon's leg.  She's also apparently a good bit stronger than said food-based dragon, as all it took to nearly kill him was a few tail thwacks.

 "Dressing Dragon!" he said, "Why does it look like you need HELP? You are supposed to be a bad guy! You were supposed to EAT THOSE GOOD GUYS!" Then Killer Kirby yelled "KILLA!" and a zzzt shot out of his Shicker. Dressing Dragon began to grow. Soon he was the same size as Killer Kirby. "Ha Ha! Try to beat my Dressing Dragon now!" said Killer Kirby "EAT GOOD GUY!" roared the Dressing Dragon as he stomped toward Supernum. "Uh oh.." said Julia Dragon. "Well, the bigger they are, the harder they fall." said Supernum, getting out his Numnum Sword. He tied a rope to the sword and tied the other end to Killer Kirby. Then he threw the sword at Dressing Dragon and used the rope to climb up toward the Dragon's head.
And of course, since I watched a lot of Power Rangers back when I was writing these stories, Killer Kirby now has the ability to enlarge his monsters to humongous sizes.  And finally the Numnum Sword makes an appearance... even if it is just as a makeshift grappling hook to climb up onto a giant food-dragon's back.  On the topic of size-changing, Killer Kirby himself seems pretty inconsistent in these old stories -- I usually described him as being twenty feet tall even back then, but when writing it seems like I wasn't entirely sure how big that was... so sometimes he seems to be much bigger than that.

And speaking of Killer Kirby, his lines here are... really dumb, looking back.  Not sure what the heck I was thinking when I wrote this.

Then he got out his Num Gun and programmed it for "Dragon Destruction", the anti-dragon setting. Julia Dragon bit Dressing Dragon on the toe to distract him and Supernum blasted the Dragon with his gun. At first, the Dragon shrank. Then Dressing Dragon melted into a mushy blob and exploded. "AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGG!" said Killer Kirby. "MY BAD GUY!" he yelled as he went back into the castle. He tripped when the sword-rope stuck into a wall. The castle came crumbling down as Dad's car drove home with a Dragon, a Num, and a lot of dressing.

And now the anti-(critter type) settings on the Num Gun, as previously mentioned in The Numnum Club, finally make a return appearance! Apparently they're pretty effective, as one shot from the "Dragon Destruction" setting not only reverts Dressing Dragon to his usual size but causes him to melt and explode into a giant pile of dressing.

Which is the same thing as stuffing, which had its own monster earlier (Stuffing Stinko)... so apparently that must've been Killer Kirby's favorite Thanksgiving-y food. XD

And here's Killer Kirby accidentally destroying his own castle by tripping.  Yep.  It's no wonder nobody ever wanted to get in a fight with this guy considering how much destruction he can cause entirely by accident.  I'm not sure why he always just went right back into his castle at the end of these stories rather than attacking (though in most stories other than this one, the good guys don't actually end up at the castle where he is so the question doesn't come up), but I guess in this one at least he could've been heading back in to prepare for a fight, then the tripping and castle-destroying happened so Supernum and company were able to escape while he was distracted.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Numnums



Numnums are one of the three species that make up the majority of the population of the planet Nummorro, along with the K’hyurbhis and the Blurbys. They are birdlike creatures, but more closely resemble the ancient dinosaurs (with teeth, less prominent feathers, and in most species no wings) than Earth’s modern-day bird species. Most of a Numnum’s feathers are tiny “proto-feathers” that form a fuzzy layer over much of their bodies; the only notable feathers in most Numnum species are those making up a more brightly-colored plume springing up from the backs of their heads. These plumes of feathers come in a variety of colors, with various hues of green, red, and orange being the most common. They are also the only reliable way for non-Numnums to tell males and females apart at a glance, as male Numnums almost always have taller and more prominent feather plumes than females. Numnums have only two limbs—a pair of long, powerful legs which are scaly and generally orangeish in color, with four-toed clawed feet on the ends. A large portion of a Numnum’s body is made up of their mouth, which is rather large (especially for their body size) and full of sharp teeth. New teeth will start to grow in within about a week’s time if one is lost, so Numnums with damaged teeth will usually have them pulled out right away rather than making any attempt to repair them.


Life Cycle

Numnums, like most birdlike creatures, reproduce by laying eggs. Numnum eggs are whitish in color, shaped similarly to a football (but about half the size), and protected by a hard shell. Hatchlings are tiny, but born with a full set of teeth; they can stand on their own shortly after birth and rapidly grow to approximately one-third their adult size within their first five years. The average Numnum is fully grown by the age of 20, though growth still continues very slowly afterward until the Numnum has reached an age of 100 to 150 years. A rare few Numnums will continue to grow beyond this point and become increasingly larger throughout their entire lives, resulting in them reaching extraordinary sizes if they live long enough.

Like many Nummorrian species, Numnums are long-lived, with the average lifespan of one who grows old and dies naturally brushing up against the 500-year mark. A Numnum’s proto-feather coating becomes slightly thicker and darker in color with age, and as a result elderly Numnums (those of age 400 and up) usually have a grayish coloration rather than the more typical white. The colors of their larger feather plumes will also dull with age, growing gray along with their body coatings. Some Numnums have been known to lose these feather plumes entirely with age, though this seems to be tied to a particular genetic quirk and is not consistent across the entire species. Numnums typically do not become weaker with age until they are nearing the end of their lifespan, though the rate at which lost teeth grow back in does slow down drastically as Numnums grow old.


Eating Habits

Numnums are omnivores, but they are more heavily dependent on meat than the K’hyurbhis or Blurbys. They don’t eat as much grain or vegetables as the K’hyurbhis or especially the Blurbys, though fruit and cheese are common and many Numnum recipes involve sauces made with herbs such as the yumma weed. Numnum chefs have come up with several recipes loved throughout all of Nummorro, including the famous Nummian beer—a greenish-colored beverage which many Blurbys prefer even over their own brews—and the all-purpose yumma weed-based ingredient known as “Yum,” which has been made into everything from sauces to highly-concentrated portable food supplements. A significant portion of their diet is made up of smaller and weaker creatures, including various fish, reptiles (such as Nummorrian lizards) and mammals (particularly the invasive species known as the Pekauh.) Occasionally Numnums will hunt down and eat something as large as a young K’hyurbhi, though even large Numnums usually won’t go after adults.

It’s important to note that the K’hyurbhis as a species do not have any problem with the fact that Numnums occasionally eat their kind. While some human sci-fi and fantasy authors have theorized that intelligent species living on the same planet will avoid eating each other (or even see it as wrong to do so), such ideas are little more than a delusion spawned from the primitive “anything that eats us must be bad” mindset that many humans unfortunately hold on to even today. Any given individual will want to avoid being eaten, of course, but a Numnum eating a K’hyurbhi will not provoke outrage from others so long as the hunting did not involve unnecessarily devious or cruel methods and occurred outside the bounds of any settlement (sneaking into a K’hyurbhi home to snatch newborns from their crib while they sleep, for example, is heavily frowned upon.) A Numnum known to be an immoral hunter is more likely to be punished by other Numnums than by K’hyurbhis out for vengeance, especially if they live within the borders of the Num Kingdom or have been traveling with a group of other nomadic Numnums. Aside from hunting within towns and cities, other things that are forbidden include the use of traps, deception (especially if it involves pretending to simply want to talk or have a traveling companion only to later kill and eat them), killing in a way that involves long and drawn-out suffering rather than a quick death, and any excess communication between predator and prey (a rule which applies equally to both the hunter and the hunted—a Numnum taunting or threatening potential prey and a K’hyurbhi attempting to verbally beg or bargain with a predator would both qualify.) Two acts are especially taboo: eating an individual with which you are already acquainted (rather than a stranger) and the capturing of prey creatures so that they may be raised and later slaughtered when food is needed. Though such things may be common on more primitive worlds such as Earth, raising fellow beings with the intent of using them as a food supply is seen as an exceptionally vile form of slavery to the people of Nummorro, and someone caught doing so could be executed or even locked away in the depths of the underground prison known as Anan.


Powers and Abilities

The physical abilities of even the average Numnum are incredible by Earth standards. They are capable of running at high speeds, leaping high into the air (especially with a running start), kicking with greater strength than an ostrich, and biting with a force equivalent to a mid-sized crocodile. Part of their strength is purely physical, but another factor is their incredibly high degree of innate Num Power. While many species (including humans) contain a small trace of Num Power within them, this is usually not enough to actually accomplish anything without a power-boosting item such as a Num Coin; a human with exceptionally high amounts of Num Power might become able to pick up on the presence of other unusual powers nearby as a sort of “sixth sense” or experience a very slight boost in strength, but nothing more. Numnums, on the other hand, have so much Num Power that their strength, speed, and reflexes are given a significant boost even if they are not consciously aware of their power. A rare few Numnums, known as “Num Monks,” have trained for years to learn how to draw out this innate Num Power and make use of it for various things. While an ordinary Numnum might be able to run alongside a vehicle, a well-trained Num Monk would pass by every car on the highway so quickly that the drivers would see little more than an orange-and-white blur.


Culture and Society

Most Numnums are nomadic, traveling from place to place either alone or with a small group of close friends or relatives. Some will stop in at various settlements for periods of time before traveling off across the wilderness to their next destination, while others prefer to stay away from established cities unless absolutely necessary. They generally travel with many (if not all) of their possessions stored away in rolling carts which they pull using a wooden bar connected to sturdy ropes; the bar is placed inside the Numnum’s mouth, causing the cart to be pulled along behind them as they walk. Very young Numnum children will often ride on top of these carts or on one of their parents’ backs, while older ones who can keep pace with the adults but are not yet strong enough to pull carts of their own will walk alongside their parents. Unhatched eggs are carefully stored inside carts with plenty of padding to prevent them from being damaged during a trip. Populations of nomadic Numnums can be found all across Nummorro, but are most abundant on the plains of the continent of Ummiboro, where it is not uncommon to stumble upon temporary camps or walk on trails left behind by years of frequent cart travel wearing away ruts in the ground.

Pockets of Numnums who choose not to live the nomadic lifestyle can be found living as permanent residents in many Nummorrian cities and towns, though settlements with a majority-Numnum population are unheard of outside of the Num Kingdom in western Ummiboro. Though considered to be the center of Numnum society and ruled by a king, the Num Kingdom’s power is not absolute and it has no authority over Numnums who live outside its boundaries (which extend across much of western Ummiboro, including all of the plains regions and also stretching into the Rutoo Swamp to the south and the Roarasaur Forest in the north.) The Num Kingdom is the location of Koogra, which is the kingdom’s capital and is generally considered to be the only true Numnum city on the planet. Other Numnum-populated places tend to be little more than small villages or somewhat more permanent variations of the nomadic Numnums’ camps, some of them occasionally surging in population as traveling family members return all at once to visit those who prefer to stay in one place. Even most of these Numnum villages are not really permanent, as they are often built with an eventual tear-down in mind and tend to have much shorter lifespans than the Numnums themselves. Villages often fade away as their older inhabitants grow old and die, as the majority of younger Numnums choose to travel rather than staying in their hometowns for most of their lives.

The Numnums’ nomadic lifestyle makes space travel a natural fit for them, leading many Numnum scientists to travel to other worlds to see the sights and document the oddities of what lies beyond their homeworld—sometimes far beyond, with some Numnum explorers going so far as to explore worlds in the remote 40th Nherbi. The Numnums have been in contact with the internherbi Council of Iklai for centuries, and much of the Council’s police force (expected to travel to various worlds to apprehend criminals who have committed crimes on a scale beyond that of just one planet, such as high-ranking members of the Beefoe Crime Syndicate) is made up of Numnums. Though Numnums rarely settle down on other worlds in the long run, some have been known to live for several years at a time on another planet before returning home to Nummorro or hopping to another hospitable world. Iklai, as the seat of the Council that shares its name, has some Numnum inhabitants; however, they rarely stay once their years in the police force have run their course, finding Iklai’s odd pastel-colored terrain and crystal-clear oceans to be entirely too consistent for a nomadic species that prefers to travel across a variety of ever-changing landscapes throughout their lives. Small populations of them also exist in the multicultural hub that is Koowaer on the planet Bifiboro, though Koowaeri Numnums are usually lone individuals or small families who tend not to band together into entire Numnum neighborhoods (unlike others such as the K’hyurbhis, Beefoes, and Grukkodons.) Aside from Bifiboro, permanent populations of Numnums on other worlds are all but unheard of.

Numnums belonging to the various subspecies can sometimes be found traveling alongside standard Numnums or living in their villages, though they tend to stick with groups of their own kind for the most part. Fire Nums and Spike Nums seem to be the most likely to integrate themselves into the larger Numnum society or join up with groups of nomads, while many of the Waternums will go through their entire lives without so much as seeing a land Numnum. Unlike the common Numnum, members of these subspecies rarely (if ever) leave Nummorro and are all but unheard of on other worlds, even on those with a significant Numnum presence.


Relationships and sexuality

For Numnums, sex is seen as existing exclusively for the purposes of reproduction; the fact that the act itself lasts only a matter of seconds for the typical Numnum and is not known to be especially pleasurable probably has a lot to do with this. Numnums have an extremely high fertility rate, probably to counteract the fact that they are unlikely to ever have sex at all unless they actually want children -- a single instance of sexual intercourse during the appropriate time of year is almost guaranteed to produce one or more fertilized Numnum eggs, which grow inside the mother for a short period before being laid. Further sexual contact during this period may cause more eggs to become fertilized, but this becomes much less likely if the DNA of the newly-introduced sperm matches that which fertilized the eggs that are already present (perhaps a mechanism to encourage genetic diversity in the species, or maybe just a built-in means of population control in case a particular couple of Numnums happened to try to make way too many babies in rapid succession.) Though usually only a single egg is laid at a time, there have been cases of a Numnum laying as many as three or four at once, becoming much more likely in the case of multiple fertilizations during the same period. After a few months’ time, these eggs will hatch, bringing the tiny baby Numnums within them into the world. Due to the Numnums’ long lifespan, their tendency to not reproduce often has not been known to cause any problems when it comes to their population dipping too low to maintain itself, though they are consistently the least-populous of the three primary Nummorrian species.

While the parents of young Numnums will often stick together to care for their children for a time, this does not necessarily mean they have any relationship beyond just being “this baby Numnum’s parents,” and even that is not necessarily guaranteed as the “father” who sticks around is not always the one who actually fathered a particular child due to how a batch of eggs could very well have been fertilized by several different Numnums. Sometimes all of the potential fathers will travel with the mother and any children for a time, generally not caring about which of them are related by genetics; in other situations, the mother will care for her children alone or with help from her own family or another Numnum she actually does have a strong attachment toward (but who may not be the biological father of any of the children.) Among Numnum society, only the Num Kingdom’s royal family really puts much emphasis at all on heredity and keeping track of whose children were fathered by who, and even then it seems to be primarily for the purpose of making it easier to decide in advance who will be next in line to become king should the current king step down or pass away. The Num Kingdom is also the only part of Numnum society where a concept similar to the marriage contract exists; outside of royalty, Numnums are free to enter and leave relationships as they see fit, as such relationships are seen as purely personal matters with no legal status.

Because they only have sex for the purposes of reproduction, Numnum relationships do not revolve around sex in the least, being based more on emotional closeness and simply getting along very well... much like how human relationships would be if sex and purely physical attraction were completely eliminated from the formula (and perhaps more importantly, if human society’s distorted ideas about how such things “should” work were scrubbed away like the filth they are.) The majority of Numnums are capable of developing these sorts of strong bonds with Numnums of either sex and as such would likely be considered bisexual in human society. Some degree of physical closeness is often involved (for example, rubbing up on each other or snuggling close together), but sex will only take place if a Numnum couple decides that they want to raise children together, and it’s entirely possible that a potential mother Numnum would go to someone else outside the relationship to fertilize her eggs even if the two have decided they’ll be the ones to raise the children once they hatch.


Religion

Unlike the K’hyurbhis and Blurbys, the Numnums as a species have never really been interested in organized religion. Many modern-day Numnums are agnostic or have a set of vaguely-defined personal beliefs on the nature of life and death without the structured lists of “thou shalt nots” that come with established religion, while some others are atheists (though these Numnum atheists should not be mistaken for the sort of “atheist” that is unfortunately common among humans, the kind that goes beyond simply not believing in a God or gods and refuses to believe that anything out of the ordinary could exist—or worse, insists on actively antagonizing those who disagree.) In the distant past, some Numnums were known to believe in the same pantheon of gods that the ancient K’hyurbhis worshiped, but as that old religion has all but died out even among the K’hyurbhis it seems unlikely that many Numnums still follow it.


Allies and Enemies

When they get involved in the affairs of other Nummorrian species, Numnums tend to have mostly peaceful relations with their neighbors; the Blurbys in particular have almost always been allies to the Numnums. The Ranoi are known to be friends of the Numnums, though aside from rumors that they were involved in the development of certain pieces of Nummian technology they seem to have little interaction. Though historically relations between the two species have been a bit more checkered, most K’hyurbhi tribes are at least neutral toward the Numnums in modern times, with the nearly-pacifistic Dondu in particular being known for taking their side. Through their alliance with the Blurbys they have also gotten on the good side of the Wudimok and Blubberwukk tribes, and on the rare occasion that members of the far northern Herbhi tribe travel across the ocean to the south of their homeland they usually land on the coasts of the Num Kingdom. The K’hyurbhis of the city of Kurbadon located high in the mountains of eastern Ummiboro are also longtime allies of the Numnums, so much so that they allowed the Council of Iklai’s primarily-Numnum police force to construct a massive underground prison known as Anan in the mountain caves just to the south of their city. The Numnums generally have a good reputation in the nherbis beyond their homeworld, with most of those they have encountered beyond the Num solar system’s edges having at least neutral relations with them (though in some cases, Numnums have visited worlds but actively avoided any contact with their inhabitants due to potential problems seen ahead of time while monitoring them from orbit.) The Council of Iklai recognizes the Numnums as a whole (and the Num Kingdom specifically) as allies, trusting them enough that Numnums both lead and make up the majority of officers in the Council’s internherbi police force. Many of the prisoners locked away in Anan are those who were marked for capture by the Council of Iklai rather than simple Nummorrian criminals, and as a result some of the guards sent to watch over that prison are also not Nummorrian in origin.

Ever since Oolach Khurb’yi began moving the tribe toward his goal of conquering the whole of Nummorro, there has been conflict between the Numnums and the Hoi tribe of K’hyurbhis. Though few actually took part in its battles, the Numnums took the side of the Blurbys during the K’hyurbhi and Blurby War, and as result some in Hoi leadership have developed a bit of a grudge against the Num Kingdom. However, the Hoi are not the most immediate threat to Numnums, especially those living on Ummiboro—the Hamhu tribe, a group of radical K’hyurbhi separatists who believe that their species are superior beings and see Numnums as evil (if not outright demonic) because they eat K’hyurbhis, are located primarily in the Coocoo Forest just to the east of Num Kingdom. It is generally considered highly unsafe for a lone Numnum to travel through this forest, especially if they come too close to the southern half where the Great City of the Hamhu is located; it is not unheard of for Hamhu tribe members to hunt down and murder Numnums whenever one of their children goes missing, even if there is no evidence that they were killed and eaten by a Numnum (or even that they were eaten at all!)


Technology

Much like their physical capabilities, Nummian technology is amazing by Earth standards, though this is hardly surprising considering how long the Numnums have existed (and the fact that their society, unlike that of humans, has not been held back by the influences of Moronism.) Their anatomy makes it difficult for them to build much of anything themselves, but with some help from the other species of Nummorro, the Numnums have come up with a variety of inventions that make their lives easier. Although the Blurbys are usually credited as the ones who aided the Numnums in coming up with much of their technology, a persistent rumor is that the elusive Ranoi inhabiting a watery cave in the northeastern region of Ummiboro were actually the ones who originally devised their control system. Various tools have been designed in a two-part form—a small device strapped onto the Numnum’s body (often around an ankle or near the base of their tail) which picks up on the Numnum’s thoughts and then remotely controls the other device, which can take the form of a shovel, a knife, a frying pan, or various other useful objects. The remotely-controlled tool will float about in the air and move however the Numnum controlling it wishes, though its speed and range are limited somewhat and both parts of the tool are powered by batteries which need to be replaced after every month or so of frequent use. Some Numnums have even come up with weaponry using this same principle, though Nummian weapons are generally mounted on the Numnum’s back (and thus have the control unit and the weapon combined into one device instead of using the two-part system) rather than being remotely controlled and hovering around them. Nummian blasters are large, back-mounted guns which fire bursts of destructive energy, while the Nummian lance is a back-mounted spear-like weapon which can be extended or retracted to various lengths depending on the situation. Most Numnums, however, prefer to rely on their natural strength and speed rather than weapons; if they make use of any form of weaponry at all, it will most commonly be metal claws affixed to their feet to increase the lethality of their kicks.

Numnum spacecraft are also a bit different from those used by other species, though in this case the primary difference is in the layout of the cockpit and its controls. Specialized chairs which allow a Numnum to sit in a position so that their feet can be used to operate the controls around them are often present, as the mental-control technology is seen as not reliable enough for something as complex as a spacecraft’s controls (and the possible side-effects of an emotionally-unstable Numnum being unable to maintain focus are far worse when they’re in charge of controlling an entire spaceship than they could ever be with a single basic tool.) In spacecraft with more diverse crews, these chairs and the surrounding controls are usually set up so that they can be adjusted or swapped out for versions more suitable for the body shapes of other species, in case the Numnum pilot is not present and one of their K’hyurbhi or Blurby shipmates is forced to take over in their place. Nummian spacecraft tend to be shaped much like the Numnums themselves, though with many of the details (such as the feather plumes and legs) trimmed out so as to not provide excess air resistance when entering or leaving atmosphere. They are generally small, with only enough room for the pilot and a crew of two or three at most, and are not intended for long-term travel—the typical Nummian spacecraft could be compared to a small car rather than a cruise ship or an airliner. Like all space-faring Nummorrian species, Nummian ships rely on Num Warp generators to travel long distances, opening a portal that will take them directly to their destination rather than bothering with weeks, months, or even years of straight-line travel. Num Monks serving on the ship’s crew are much appreciated in the case of situations where the ship’s built-in Num Warp generators fail, as those who have a high degree of control over their innate Num Power are sometimes able to open portals with it, allowing them to at least transfer the ship’s crew and cargo to a safe place even if they cannot generate a portal large enough for the ship itself to pass through.


Subspecies

Aside from the standard white Numnum that makes up the majority of the population, there are a variety of other Numnum species. These other types of Numnums are seen as equals by most of Numnum society, though many of them tend to keep to themselves. This is usually at least partially due to these subspecies being adapted to more specialized environments and thus being unable to visit Numnum population centers very often, if at all.

The Fire Nums are a subspecies native to Roastiso Island and also found in the K’hyurbhi Desert on the continent of Blurbonazz. They are sometimes known simply as “Red Nums” and are identifiable by their bright-red coloration and red-orange feather plume, which is smaller than that of a typical Numnum. Their most common name comes from the fact that they are able to “breathe fire,” though in reality they are only spitting up a highly volatile chemical compound which ignites upon contact with air. They prefer extremely hot climates and are adapted to survive well in such places, making them unwilling to travel very far away from the equatorial regions of Nummorro in all but the hottest months of the year. Almost all Fire Nums are nomadic, and they are notable for having a strong tradition of Num Power use; many of them learn how to draw out their innate Num Power at a young age and as a result they tend to be a bit stronger and faster than most ordinary Numnums. As their techniques are not as polished as those of the Num Monks, however, this Num Power awareness often causes them to be surrounded by an almost flame-like orange aura of power as an unconscious reaction whenever they are prepared for danger or a fight.

Aero Nums are a winged subspecies of Numnum which can be found in high mountainous regions and nearby valleys across much of Nummorro. They are lighter and less bulky than other Numnums and have smaller teeth and longer, thinner tails with small feathered plumes on the end in addition to their most notable feature—the large, feathery wings which allow them to fly. They are generally somewhat frailer than other Numnums and have less leg strength due to their dependence on flight rather than running for high-speed movement. Of all the Numnum species, the Aero Nums (thanks to the fact that their habitat is not limited to a certain area and they can freely move all across Nummorro without much trouble) are the most likely to be found intermingling with other Numnums in villages or among nomadic groups. They tend to dislike settling in one spot even more than most Numnums and as such are only briefly spotted in the Num Kingdom, if they ever visit that area at all.


Spike Nums, sometimes also known as “Needlenums” or “Green Nums,” are an unusual subspecies of Numnum that has developed venomous spines instead of the more typical feather plumes. These spines are in fact modified feathers and are made up of the same material, but are much denser and compacted rather than being “fluffy” like a typical feather. Spike Nums are immediately identifiable by their green coloration, with their entire bodies (aside from their scaly orange legs) being similar in color to the shiny green sometimes present in the feather plumes of standard Numnums. Spike Nums have also grown several small spines on their tails, which they can use as a weapon by turning rapidly and swinging them at anyone who threatens them. Spike Num venom is similar to the flammable goo spit up by the Fire Nums, though not as volatile; injection through spines causes a variety of symptoms, most notably a horrible rash on the surface of the skin, burning pain, and partial paralysis. The spines on their tail have a slightly different mixture of chemicals, being more likely to cause widespread paralysis but causing less actual damage to the body’s tissues in the process.

Digger Nums, also known as “Digging Nums” and sometimes even “Brown Nums,” are a burrowing Numnum subspecies that is rarely seen and thought to be rare in comparison to most types of Numnums. As their name suggests, they are adapted to be very good at digging, and they have much larger and heavier claws on their feet than other species. Their feather plumes are much smaller and thinner than those of most Numnums and are usually orange in color, though various shades of light brown and even some other more unusual colors are also possible. Digger Nums are occasionally sighted in caves in various parts of Nummorro, though the center of their population seems to be a mountain range in southern Blurbonazz, just north of the Blubberwukk K’hyurbhi tribe’s territory.

Waternums are an unusual Numnum species that has adapted to a fully aquatic lifestyle, having lost their legs entirely and grown a pair of flippers instead. Their tails have become longer and fluked on the end, and their bodies as a whole are longer and more streamlined than those of land Numnums. Like most aquatic species that do not possess gills, Waternums must surface for air every now and then but are very good at holding their breath for long periods of time compared to completely terrestrial species. Due to the differences in habitat between them, Waternums do not have much interaction with their walking cousins, and they may have a drastically different society and culture from other Numnums as a result.


Related Species

In addition to the Numnum subspecies listed above, several other Nummorrian creatures are related to the Numnums but are not quite close enough to be considered Numnums themselves. These species generally do not associate with Numnums, either simply because they are not social creatures or because they are less intelligent or so barbaric as to be incapable of functioning as a normal part of Numnum society.

Numbani are a small species of herbivorous Numnum relatives that are common in the forests of western and central Ummiboro. Unlike Numnums, they have four legs rather than only two, and their limbs are significantly shorter than those of a Numnum, allowing them to stay low to the ground in order to hide from predators in tall grasses and brush. They are only slightly less intelligent than Numnums, but have much shorter lifespans and do not seem to have any advanced culture or technology to speak of.

The centipede eaters are a family of several closely-related creatures that, as their name suggests, prey mostly upon Nummorrian centipedes. Like a Numbani, they have four limbs rather than two, though their limbs are quite long and possess large claws like those of a Numnum. Their bodies are more elongated than those of Numnums, with the head and mouth still being quite large but not taking up as much of the body in comparison. One species of centipede eater is roughly the size of an adult Numnum and can be found only in areas with abundant rutoo; this “rutoo-tossing centipede eater” is best known for its habit of digging up lumps of rutoo and throwing them at its prey in order to pin them down with the sticky substance. Other species are larger and hunt by leaping down onto their prey from tree branches, using the combination of their weight and sharp claws to both crush and slice through the hard outer shell of a centipede before eating it. Centipede eaters are on roughly the same level of intelligence as Numnums, but they are solitary creatures with no interest in becoming part of Numnum society or having much interaction with their two-legged cousins.

Yumyyums (pronounced “yuh-mee-yumz”) are a Numnum relative that has taken to living in trees, climbing and hanging from branches with their long prehensile tails rather than relying so much on their legs to get around. They have a thicker layer of red proto-feathers over their entire bodies and no feather plumes at all, unlike Numnums or even the other Numnum relatives. Yumyyums have smaller teeth than most Numnums but also possess a powerful beak at the front of their mouth, which they use to bite down hard on prey before using their other teeth to tear away flesh to eat. They are almost entirely carnivorous, only occasionally eating a bit of fruit to supplement their meat-based diet. Yumyyums are not as intelligent as Numnums (or even Numbani) and are generally seen as barbaric, a view which is not helped by the Yumyyums’ tendency toward unprovoked attacks on anyone who so much as sets foot in the Yumyyums’ territory. They have even been known to eat Numnums at times, though this does not disturb the Numnums nearly as much as the fact that they will occasionally eat others of their own kind as well, even in times when other food is abundant.

The Umns are only distantly related to the Numnums and are widely believed to be a remnant population of an ancient Numnum-like species which may have developed into the modern centipede eaters, or possibly branched off from them at some point in the distant past. Umns prefer swampy environments and are good swimmers, though they are not quite as aquatic as the Waternums. At a glance, they almost seem to be a bizarre cross between a Numnum and a large lizard or alligator, with green, scaly skin but a distinctly Numnum-like head shape and teeth. What appears to be a spiky ridge running along their back and tail at a glance or when seen from a distance is actually a ridge of proto-feathers like those possessed by other Numnum relatives, though those of the Umns are a bit more rigid than most and tend to stand up due to an unconscious reaction when they are surprised or angered. Like the Fire Nums and Spike Nums, the bodies of Umns create poison by extracting certain chemicals from their food; unlike those varieties of Numnums, Umns deliver their venom to prey and opponents through their bites. Umns tend to be less intelligent than Numnums and rank closer to the Yumyyums, though unlike the Yumyyums there have been examples of Umns peacefully interacting with Numnums and other Nummorrian species. It is said that the legendary Blurby explorer Bok even befriended a pair of Umns named Grun and Gruz, who accompanied him on his exploration of the planet Ihctogo.