Lizardmonsters!

Yep... these are another set of critters from the random game I've been working on.  As the title of this post suggests, they're called "Lizardmonsters."  Note that they are not dragons, because actual dragons have fur (a fact which seems to be commonly forgotten these days... probably D&D's fault for making them all giant inexplicably-spiky reptiles and trying to turn every mammal-like feature--aside from the wings anyway--into something weird and random like spikes, fins, or catfish whiskers.)

The Green Lizardmonster is large and fairly powerful (probably the 2nd-strongest), but due to its horrific obesity it's also the slowest of the bunch.  It attacks by farting on you or whacking you with the spiked thagomizer on its tail.  Due to its sheer weight, its most dangerous move is farting high into the air and then landing on its opponent.

The Red Lizardmonster is physically the strongest, and mostly attacks by biting, though it can also breathe fire.  Due to its resemblance to Barney, it may also have mind-altering powers that allow it to hypnotize and control small children, though it's not known for sure.  As the size of its wings suggest, it definitely can't fly using them.

The Black Lizardmonster lives in swampy areas and is faster than most of the others, though not as powerful as the Red or Green Lizardmonsters.  It's the only type of lizardmonster that's good at swimming.  The Black Lizardmonster attacks by belching and vomiting acidic goop on its victims, and also by biting and constricting opponents in its long body.

The Blue Lizardmonster is the fastest of the bunch (possibly due to its skinniness and actually having decent-sized wings) and lives in deserts.  Probably the most bizarre member of the lizardmonster family, the Blue Lizardmonster has several insect-like features (a mad scientist was probably involved...) and attacks with its scorpion-like venomous stinger as well as by spewing blasts of electricity out of its mouth.  Wait... it spits lightning? Okay, yeah, a mad scientist was definitely involved.

And finally, the White Lizardmonster is the weakest of the group.  Despite its feathery wings and beak, White Lizardmonsters are not birds (not even a less-feathery kind of bird, like dinosaurs); they're reptiles like all other lizardmonsters... somehow... I guess because of magic, or something.  Speaking of magic, they can attack by somehow spewing a blast of ice shards and freezing winds from their mouths.  Even though they're reptiles... supposedly.  Actually, that probably wouldn't work with a bird either.  Yeah... these ones are weird.

Something really odd I found drifting in the void of the Internet

The other day I randomly decided to search for things related to my old, crappy game The Kirby Lands on Google... and I ended up finding this oddity.  It's a post on the Kirby's Rainbow Resort forum, which I used to post on a long time ago... before they switched over to the current forum (so none of the posts from my active period on there still exist, as far as I can tell.)  Basically, this seems to be some kind of forum roleplaying/story thing, which isn't that unusual by itself... the weird part comes in when you look at who three of the characters happen to be.

Here's a brief except from one of the parts that features them.

 ….The Universe. It is an endless, boundless sea of stars that spread for eternity. In this eternal star ocean lays the Milky Way, the only star system where life is known to exist. In the far reaches of this brilliant galaxy dwells the Popstar system. This solar system is home to peaceful races that coincide with eachother….But as time has taught, there can never be peace without conflict. It is an endless cycle of fighting and peace that nothing can avoid.

Far, Far on the outside of the Popstar system floats another land. Only a few people from the inner system have ever been here, the others have never heard of it. This planet is known as “ The Kirby Lands”. Four years ago a horrific battle ensued on this lonely planet. A being known as Enduo attacked as the inhabitants were running a great tournament, known as “ The Tournament of Kirbies.” Rayd, Lunar, Killer Kirby, and Kirb fought bravely against this foe and were finally able to defeat him with the Kerhbi Bomb….

Four years have passed since then…..

A crowd is heard roaring loudly as 3 combatants enter the ring….

“Why is that pink Kirby here? Pink ones are too weak to fight in this kind of tournament.” Kirber asked Killer as the combatants entered the ring.

“You’ll see… I can’t believe you don’t remember….” Killer replied.

“….If you say so…” Kirber replied doubtfully…

“He’s right.” Kirb said motioning to Kirber. “ While working on new cameras for my….er…I mean… anyway, look at this.”

Kirb held up an energy scouter

“ Their power levels are only 5 and 8, they’re gonna get clobbered!” Kirb said worriedly.

“ Hahahaha, how soon you two forget!” Killer said laughing…

Down at the arena, one of the kirbies motioned to the other…

“…I’ve got this Sosuke” The Dreamlander with the white scarf said, as he motioned toward the other.

Sosuke nodded as he leaped off of the arena floor. Sosuke is a orange-ish color, wearing a blue bandanna. He has long blonde hair that’s spiked up above his head. Sosuke has a large scar across his eye.

The other combatant waved his arm and his scarf billowed as it was thrusted out of the way by his arm.

“ Who does this guy think he is?” the other fighter said, clicking buttons on his scouter. “ He’s only at level 5…”

The combatant smirked after the other fighter said this.

“…My my, you sure are cocky.” The combatant said.

“ Say what? Im about to whipe that grin off your face.” The fighter said.

A gong sounds.

As soon as the gong sounded the fighter lifted his hand up and fired an energy blast at the other combatant.

A ricochette and a explosion are heard. It echoes throughout the stadium…The combatant had deflected the energy blast.

The smoke from the blast spread across most of the arena floor, blocking out the view from most of the audience.

“Whats going on?” Kirb asked.

A loud echoing thud is heard, followed by groans of pain….as the dust settled, the combatant stood over the fallen fighter, his hand outstretched and his foot forward, a strike position. He turned around and walked off of the arena floor.

“ And the first bout goes to…Rayd Kiever!! The first elimination round has been finished!” The announcer yells.

“…Wait a sec…” Kirb said turning towards Killer. “ Isn’t that?!”

Killer smiled…

Yep, that is indeed someone else using Killer K'hyurbhi, Kurb, and Kirber (then known as Killer Kirby, Kirb, and... well, Kirber) as characters in their story.  And also randomly making the Kirby Lands (which, in the old game, were supposed to be a continent trapped in the Num Warps between nherbis) be a planet somewhere on the far reaches of Popstar's solar system, in Nintendo's Kirby universe.


Interestingly, it actually seems to use the "Killer Kirby taking on Kirber as his apprentice" thing mentioned at the end of The Kirby Lands... which either means that the guy who wrote this actually played through the game, or that I had mentioned that in the first tournament story and it just got carried over to here.  Killer Kirby being referred to as just "Killer" is kind of odd, though, especially considering that there already was a character named Killer (who was a Numnum.)


As far as I can remember, I didn't even know about this at the time it was being written, and I don't think anyone ever bothered to tell me that they were using my characters, either. (I wouldn't have really been able to get involved even if I knew about it, though, since at the time I had no idea how to use IRC chats, which they were apparently using for the battles.)  Of course, the thing never seems to have been finished, but still... it's really weird to randomly bump into something like this.
And for a bit of backstory: the "Enduo" mentioned isn't exactly Enduo Ril (aka Eddie Ril, who appears in Fnrrf Ygm Schnish: Alleghany Hell School) as we know him.  I actually do vaguely remember the original Tournament of Kirbies (sic) story, at least well enough to remember that part of it involved Eddie, Bridget, and Geno (from Super Mario RPG) being turned into Kirby-like creatures and brainwashed to attack everyone during the tournament.  I think Orrannudum, the evil mad scientist K'hyurbhi that Killer K'hyurbhi sealed away a long time ago, was responsible for it... though I can't remember for sure off the top of my head.   I find it kind of odd that only one of the three attackers from the first story is mentioned in this one (I'm assuming because Enduo was the last of the three to be defeated?) and that Orrannudum himself isn't, so I guess it's possible that Orrannudum never really made an appearance in the first story, or people forgot about him since he probably wasn't really much of a fighter compared to the other three.  Of course, this was apparently made in 2004, when the original story couldn't have been more than 2 or 3 years old... so I dunno.

In case you actually want to see this wackiness for yourself, here's a link to it.