Flight of the Bloodmobile, Chapter 9

And Chapter 9, in which there's a werewolf!... or not.  Nope, no overdone vampire/werewolf rivalry here.

Chapter 9

~ Fart at the Moon ~

            The vampires packed their bags, checked out of the hotel, and left New York City later that night, first heading off further to the north.  At first they drove around in Massachussetts for a while, but they soon decided against staying there after Elvis mentioned that they had witch hunts there in the past--which, really, wasn't all that far away from having vampire hunts, especially in the wake of certain recent news stories.

They then turned the Bloodmobile around and went south again, passing back through New York and heading into the cluster of small states along the east coast.

"Hey, uh," Steve said, waving his arms a bit in an attempt to get Pugh's attention.  "Where are we now?"

"Just about to Rhode Island."

"Oh."

Steve paused for a moment, then scratched his head and got a confused look on his face.

"Wait a second, Rhode Island?  But we haven't crossed a bridge or anything! How the heck are we going to get to an island?"

"Steve," Crurotarsi said, "Rhode Island isn't really an island.  It has islands, but most of the state is inland."

"Then why do they call it Rhode Island then? Why not just call it... Rhode Land? Or something like that."

"Not a clue," Elvis said.  "I guess you'd have to ask Rhode about that one.  Or whoever it was who named the place..."

            Meanwhile, just a few miles away in a small Rhode Island town, police had gathered up a line of possible suspects and had them stand up against a brick wall.  A shivering young woman, who looked halfway between terrified and disgusted, was standing behind a see-through wall and being asked to point out which of them was the one who attacked her.

Of course, this was no ordinary police lineup.  Along with a few homeless men with scruffy beards and raggedy-looking clothes, there was a large dog.  And a hyena.  And an even hairier man, who appeared to have some sort of hair-growth disorder that made him grow brown ape-like fur all over his body.  Finally, on the far right end of the lineup, was a fairly normal-looking teenager in shorts and a t-shirt, who scratched his butt for a second and then returned to standing rigidly up against the wall.

Unfortunately, however, the witness didn't recognize any of them.  The woman left the room and was replaced with an eight-year-old boy, with the same results.  A few more victims came in, but none of them could point out anyone from the lineup as a definite match, and some even saw the hyena in the lineup and assumed the police weren't taking their complaints seriously.  One of the policemen sighed, scratched his moustached, and turned to the other.

"Well, that was the last one," he grumbled.  "And still nothing."

"You'd think this freak would stick out like a sore thumb," the other said, reading over his notes.  "Big, hairy, tackles people to the ground and then farts in their faces... how many guys like that can there be in this town?"

"Makes me wonder just what the hell we're dealin' with here, Bob... some kinda werewolf with the mind of a 5th-grader, or what?"

"Don't be ridiculous," the other cop snapped.  "This guy's real, Jim.  Not some big bad wolf from some kid's story.  And I'll tell you right now... we're gonna find him."

            The vampires, as it so happened, ended up pulling into that very same town in Rhode Island later that night.  Sunrise was barely an hour away, so they drove around for a few minutes to get an idea of what the place was like before parking at the town's only hotel.  Not long afterward, Pugh had secured their rooms (three of them this time, as this hotel's rooms only had two beds) and the group of vampires had relocated their luggage.  As the sun slowly began to rise, they brushed their teeth and headed off to bed for the day.

Later, just as the sun started to dip down low on the horizon and begin to set, the vampires got back up and ate their breakfast (which for most of them included a lot of blood, as the donations in the Bloodmobile had only been in the fridge for a day or so and were still fresh.)  Afterward, they all put on some sunscreen and left the building, heading off to search for any sign of a vampire community in the area.

"So, uh," Steve said, "Are we gonna call a taxi, or take a bus, or what?"

"None of the above," Pugh said.  "We're going to walk.  This place isn't nearly as big as New York City, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Steve groaned, but then started walking just like everyone else, heading down the sidewalk in a line with the other vampires.  They passed by quite a few houses, but none of them had any signs of being inhabited by vampires; they all looked as if whoever was inside was getting ready for bed, whereas most vampires would probably be up and moving around already at this time of day.

"Hmm," Zamboni said, glancing ahead to a large church building up ahead.  There was someone standing out in front of it, wearing what appeared to be a priest's robes.  "Who's that guy, I wonder?"

"Looks like a priest to me," Rhombus said.  "A priest in front of a church.  Nothing out of the ordinary there."

"Yeah," Zamboni said, "But why would he just be standing out there this late? If there's a church service going he'd be inside... and if there isn't, he probably wouldn't be there at all."

The rest of the vampires shrugged; nobody could think of any good reason for a priest to be standing around outside of a church around sunset, especially when there wasn't anything going on inside the church.  They continued to walk down the sidewalk until eventually they approached the church.

"Hello, there," the priest said, smiling at them and waving.  "I'm guessing you're from out of town.  Is that right?"

"Yep," Pugh answered, "Just came in from New York City.  Don't mind us, we're just taking a look around."

It was at this point that the group noticed something about the priest that was a bit unexpected.  His skin was very pale, his eyes were red, and--most unusual of all--his ears were rather pointy.

"Whoa," Steve said, staring up the concrete steps to the place where the priest was standing.  "You're a vampire? A vampire priest?"

"I didn't know the Catholic church ordained vampires," Elvis said, taking a closer look at the priest.  "In fact... the church was pretty anti-vampire the last time I checked.  How'd you get in?"

"Oh, it wasn't that hard," the priest said.  "Grew my hair out a bit to cover up the ears, and then claimed I was an albino."

"The grayish-white hair probably helped," Zamboni added.  "How old are you, anyway?"

The priest laughed.

"Old enough that I was around to see the Civil War... though thankfully not young enough to have ended up fighting in it," he said.  "Of course, I'm not exactly sure anymore... stopped keeping track of every birthday once I went over two hundred, you see."

"Wow," Crurotarsi said.  She appeared to be at a loss for words, having never met anyone quite that old.

"Two hundred? Sheesh," Zamboni said.  "Even Pugh here's barely over fifty."

"You've been here for a while, right?", Elvis asked.  "Any idea where the local vampires tend to hang out?"

The priest shook his head.

"No, I'm afraid I haven't really been keeping up with them," he said.  "Though I do know that, years ago, I used to see a lot of them a few blocks down from here."

He pointed in that direction, past several large houses and a gas station.

"Just turn left onto the first street past that Shell station.  You might be able to find a few around there, if they haven't moved out since then."

The vampires nodded and thanked the old vampire for his help, then walked off away from the church, heading in the direction he had pointed them in.  By this point, the sun had pretty much set and the sky was getting a bit darker; in an hour or so, any vampires that lived in the city were sure to be out and about if they weren't already.  The priest's timing in telling them where they could be found seemed almost perfect.

"So," Crurotarsi asked, turning toward Elvis and Pugh.  "What should we be looking for when we get over there?"

"Depends," Pugh answered.  "If it's a residential area, look for houses where nobody's come out to get today's paper yet.  If it's more of a 'stores and restaurants' place, we should check out the closed-down bars and restaurants with unlocked doors."

The group walked across a street at the crosswalk, then suddenly stopped as a young human wearing shorts and a t-shirt suddenly walked out from a dark alley and stood in front of them.  He turned toward them, snickered, and then turned back around... and bent over.  And started grunting.

Zamboni took a step back out of sheer shock.

"What the hell!?"

Seconds later, a horrible noise (Phooooot!) echoed through the street, followed not long afterward by an even worse smell.  Pugh lifted his cape and covered his nose with it, while Crurotarsi and Elvis pulled their shirts up over their faces in an attempt to block out the disgusting stench.  Rhombus and Steve just backed up a bit, hoping that it wouldn't get far enough to reach them.

Before any of the vampires could react to this random act of flatulence, the boy stood up straight, pointed and laughed at them, and then took off running down the sidewalk.  Elvis quickly pulled a small digital camera out of one of his pockets and followed the movements of the strange man as he stopped in front of a pair of teenage girls and farted in their faces as well.  He repeated this in front of an old man, who attempted to swing at him with his cane but narrowly missed, and then disappeared off into the distance.

"Okay," Zamboni said, blinking a few times.  "What was that all about?"

"Not a clue," Elvis said, pushing a couple of buttons on his camera.  "But I got most of it on film.  Well, not film exactly since this is a digital camera, but oh well, close enough."

"Great," Crurotarsi said, "I'll let you know if I ever feel like watching some guy fart on innocent bystanders."

After shaking off the effects of this unexpected encounter (and airing out their clothes a bit to get rid of the last traces of the smell), the vampires continued their walk down the street, eventually reaching the gas station that the old priest had mentioned.  Following his directions, they took the first left turn they came upon, and walked down a street that seemed to be lined with old-looking stores that had mostly already closed.

"Okay, that means we look for bars and restaurants, right?", Steve asked.  The other vampires nodded in response, and Zamboni walked over to an Italian restaurant and pulled on the front door a bit.

"Not just any bars and restaurants," he said.  "Closed bars and restaurants with unlocked doors.  That's usually where they hide the secret vampire bars."

After a few unsuccessful door-opening attempts, the group finally came upon an old bar that seemed to have been frozen in time somewhere in the seventies.  A very old and faded "CLOSED" sign was hanging on the inside of the front window's glass, stuck on by ancient pieces of tape that were beginning to turn yellowish from age.

"Like this one," Zamboni said, grabbing the door handle and swinging it open.

"Dude," Steve said.  "How'd you know this one was the secret vampire bar?"

"Easy.  If it was just any old closed-down bar, they would've put something else in this building by now."

While Zamboni held the door open, the rest of the group headed inside.  There was a line of old bar stools and a table inside, with a few empty beer mugs that looked like they hadn't been touched in decades sitting around here and there.  Steve looked around for a few seconds, then turned back to Zamboni and looked a bit confused.

"So, uh... where's the secret vampire bar?"

The older vampires started feeling around on the back wall of the bar.  After a minute or so of this, Pugh noticed a suspicious-looking hole in the wall and reached into it, finding what appeared to be a small black button... which, of course, he pushed.  There was a quiet click, and then, slowly, the wall in front of him slid open.

"I'm guessing this is it right here."

On the other side of the door was a short, narrow hallway.  At the far end of this hallway was a bar almost identical to the one they had just left, except that it had much less dust and empty mugs.  A handful of vampires of various ages were sitting at the bar, most of which seemed to be drinking what appeared to be red wine.  The bartender, a fat vampire with a moustache, waved to greet the newcomers, then quickly went back to cleaning empty glasses and placing them back on the rack behind him.

They were just about to head into the bar and see what the local vampires were like when there was an incredibly loud sound, almost like an explosion.  For a moment, the building actually seemed to shake, and several empty wine glasses fell to the floor and shattered.  A few of the vampires seemed to panic, while others looked as if they had seen this happen before (and one over in the corner of the room was too drunk to care either way.)

"What was that?", Elvis asked, glancing back and forth between his own friends and the vampires sitting at the bar.

"Not sure," the bartender said, sweeping up the broken glass all over the floor.  "But it's been happenin' for a couple months now.  A couple days every month, we get about half a dozen blasts like that and a few humans scared out of their wits."

"Okay... I guess this isn't really a good time to get a drink," Pugh said.  "Let's go see what's making all this noise."

The vampires quickly headed back outside and out into the street as the sliding door to the hidden vampire bar shut behind them.  Pugh stopped for a second to listen, and noticed that some humans were screaming about something not far from where they were standing.

"Hmm... let's see... sounds like they're maybe a couple of blocks away..."

Zamboni and Elvis both stopped to listen as well, soon followed by the rest of the vampires (except Steve, who was just standing there wondering why they had all stopped walking all of a sudden.)

"Yeah," Zamboni said.  "Distance sounds about right. Any idea what they're screaming about?"

"Not yet," Pugh said.  "Wait... I think one of them just said 'get away from me'... sounds like they're being attacked by something."

Steve, starting to get bored, stared up into the sky above them to see if he could point out any constellations.  After taking a good look at the full moon hovering almost directly overhead, and immediately he got a strange thought.

"Being attacked by something," he mumbled to himself.  He then suddenly got a lot louder.  "You mean... like a werewolf!?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Crurotarsi said.  "There's no such thing as werewolves.  Even most of the humans know that."

Suddenly, there was another explosion.  Off in the distance, the vampires could see a human fly high into the air, followed by a trail of green gas, before crashing down onto the roof of a building.  Then a second explosion rang out, this one closer... close enough that they could hear what it really sounded like--a deep, thundering PA-PHOOOOOOT!! that echoed across the city for a good ten seconds.

Immediately, Steve's hand reflexively shot up to cover his nose.  After glancing around at the others and seeing that none of them had done the same, he removed his hand and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Was that..."

"Yes, Steve," Elvis said.  "I'm... pretty sure it was."

"Well, I think I know exactly what we're dealing with now," Pugh said, taking a step toward the sound of the explosion.

The other vampires turned toward him, each giving him a slightly different funny look.

"You do?", Rhombus asked.

"Yep.  Crurotarsi's right, there's no such thing as a werewolf.  However... there is one kind of creature that transforms from a human to something large and furry."

Crurotarsi looked a bit confused.

"Well... what is it?"

"With farts that sound like explosions and send people flying dozens of feet into the air, there's only one thing it can be," Pugh said.  "What we're dealing with here... is a werebuttweasel."

Before the vampires could go off to search for the monster, several screaming humans came running from one of the adjacent streets.  There was another massive fart-explosion, and a teenage boy was propelled into the air.  Seconds later, he came bouncing down onto an awning over the entrance to a nearby restaurant before falling to the sidewalk below.  Knowing what was coming, the vampires backed out of the street and ducked behind various buildings, watching as the panicking humans ran by.

Not long afterward, what they were running away from came into view.  It was a huge, vaguely humanoid, brown-furred creature with an enormous butt that stuck out in the back, undoubtedly the source of the explosive farts that could send a man flying.  It propelled itself forward with another blast of noxious gas, throwing several more humans aside as it went and then finally slamming the last of them to the ground with its butt.  It then stopped briefly and scratched its butt before wandering off down another street.

"Okay," Crurotarsi said.  "I'm guessing that's our buttweasel."

"Werebuttweasel," Elvis corrected.

"Whatever.  It's still a big, furry critter with a big, furry butt."

"Holy crap," Steve said, mouth hanging open.  "They really do exist!"

The group headed in the direction that the werebuttweasel had run off in, following the smell of farts (while carefully trying not to breathe in too hard) around corners and down alleys.  Eventually, they found an alley where the smell was almost overwhelming, and the sound of something scratching could be heard clearly even from around the corners of the nearby buildings.

"It's stopped to scratch its butt again," Steve whispered.  "I think."

"Steve, you moron," Crurotarsi said, keeping herself from punching the younger vampire even though she desperately wanted to.  "That scratching sound is something scratching against a wall."

Pugh peeked around the corner for a second, then turned back toward the other vampires.

"It's a dead end," he whispered.  "The werebuttweasel's apparently trying to climb the wall, but... it's not doing such a good job."

There was a loud crash from inside the alley, and the lid of a trash can came rolling out on its side.  Apparently, the werebuttweasel had fallen off of the wall.  Slowly, the vampires all peeked around the corner of the wall; the creature was lying on its back on the concrete, surrounded by several overturned garbage cans and all sorts of trash that had once been contained inside them.  For a second, it flailed around in an attempt to get up... and then, there was another "explosion."  Trash went flying everywhere, a nearby window was shattered, and the werebuttweasel went flying off out of the alley and into the middle of the street.

This force was apparently enough to cause it to tumble head-over-heels, ending up back on its feet.  It shook itself off, then turned and looked toward the vampires standing just a few yards away.  And then, it let out a confused-sounding grunt.

"Whurmph?"

Pugh twitched, then shifted his feet slightly in preparation for an attack.  Steve reached for his wooden sword.  The other vampires mostly just stared at the brown, furry creature and looked confused.  For a few brief moments, the werebuttweasel and the vampires stared at each other in near-total silence, neither side quite sure what the other was going to do.  And then, unexpectedly, the monster stood up on its hind legs and burst out laughing.

"What's going on?", Zamboni asked.  "What's the werebuttweasel laughing at?"

Pugh shrugged.

"I have no idea."

Before anyone could figure out what was so funny, the werebuttweasel turned around and took aim.  Each of the vampires knew exactly what was about to happen, and they all rushed to escape in whatever way possible--Pugh jumped up into the air, Rhombus and Elvis dove to the ground and rolled out of the immediate area of the blast, Zamboni and Crurotarsi jumped to either side of the street and grabbed onto street signs, and Steve... ran like hell in the opposite direction.

Seconds later, the flatulent explosion came, sending Steve flying forward and falling flat on his face.  Pugh landed just a few feet behind the werebuttweasel just as it stood back up and prepared to run off down the street again, cutting off its escape route; he was soon followed by Crurotarsi and Zamboni, while Rhombus and Elvis came in from behind, moving slowly and holding their noses to avoid choking on the fumes.

"Okay," Pugh said, "Who are you, and why do you keep... farting on people?"

Once again, the creature laughed.  It then took a swing at Pugh with one of its arms, but he easily dodged it by leaning back just enough to be out of range.  It grunted, then wound up with the other fist... but before it could take another swing, Crurotarsi and Zamboni both grabbed onto its arm and yanked it backwards, sending it tumbling over backward onto the street.  The vampires jumped aside as it propelled itself across the street with another fart, but this time it apparently was running out of gas--it didn't even launch itself all the way to where Steve was lying.

The creature quickly hopped back up onto its hind legs again, turning and trampling Steve back to the ground just as he was starting to stand up again.  The rest of the vampires quickly gave chase, with Rhombus stopping for a second to help Steve up before taking off running again.

Fortunately for the vampires, the werebuttweasel was not especially fast without the help of its built-in jet-propulsion system.  Within a few minutes, Pugh had caught up with the furry monster, tackling it from behind and knocking it to the ground.  There was a brief struggle before the buttweasel grinned and then suddenly bucked Pugh off, slamming the vampire in the torso with its massive butt and sending him rolling across the pavement for a few feet before he managed to catch himself.

"Watch out," he said, beginning to push himself back up off the ground.  "That butt's good for more than just for farting."

As Pugh stood and dusted himself off, the rest of the vampires had surrounded the werebuttweasel, with Steve drawing his wooden sword and waving it around awkwardly in a failed attempt to look like he actually knew how to use it.

"So what makes somebody turn into a werebuttweasel, anyway?", Steve asked, holding his sword out to keep some distance between himself and the creature.

"Nobody knows," Pugh said.  "Humans don't even know they exist, and nobody else has ever managed to catch one for long enough to study it."

The werebuttweasel lashed out with one of its huge, hairy fists, which Rhombus caught in both hands and blocked.  While the fat vampire and his furry opponent pushed against each other, Crurotarsi and Zamboni jumped in simultaneously and kicked the werebuttweasel in the chest, knocking it backward and sending it bouncing across the street several times before coming to a stop.  For a second, it lay completely still aside from some shallow breathing... but just when the six vampires were about to walk over to check on the creature, it stood up, raised its hands high into the air above its head, and roared.

"Whrurr... whurrrrrmmmph!!"

Before the vampires could do anything to stop it, the werebuttweasel turned and squatted once again, aiming its butt directly at them and grunting with effort.  Steve panicked and nearly dropped his sword, while the rest began to slowly back away in an attempt to get out of range without frightening the buttweasel and causing it to let loose too soon.

"Wait a second," Steve said, looking up into the sky.  "Doesn't a werebuttweasel only go all brown and furry when there's a full moon?"

"That's right," Pugh said, continuing to back away.  "That's why you never find them inside buildings unless there's lots of windows.  They need to be exposed to the light of the full moon to keep up the transformation, for some reason."

Steve looked up at the sky again, noticing that dark rainclouds were beginning to move in and the moon was becoming less and less visible.

"Well, uh... how come he's not changing back?"

Almost as if on cue, the werebuttweasel glanced up at the sky and then groaned disappointedly.  As the clouds finally moved into a position where the moon was nearly invisble, the monster began to shrink and rapidly lose hair.  Its oversized butt shriveled away and was replaced by two relatively small bare cheeks, and its limbs and head shifted shape until they were clearly those of a male human.

As soon as the transformation was over, Elvis put away his digital camera; he was now the first person to capture the de-transfomation of a werebuttweasel on video.  Steve, on the other hand, just groaned and averted his eyes.

"Aw man, he's naked?"

Crurotarsi reached over and punched him, putting a dent into the armored plate on his shoulder and causing him to stumble slightly to the side.

"Of course he's naked," she said.  "How on Earth would that giant butt fit into a normal pair of pants?"

"I dunno," Steve said.  "I thought if a guy knew he was gonna turn into a giant mutated buttweasel, he'd buy some of those purple stretchy pants like what the Hulk wears."

"Hmm," Pugh said, walking over to the barely-conscious naked teenager lying in the middle of the street.  "Is it just me, or... does this guy look kinda familiar?"

Zamboni scratched his head for a second, while Crurotarsi put one hand on her chin and thought back to see if she could remember anyone who looked like the person on the ground in front of them.  Well, like him but with more clothes, anyway.  Elvis turned on his camera and flipped through a few pictures before speaking up.

"Yeah... we've seen this guy before, all right," he said.  "Look at this.  It's the same guy who ran down the street farting in people's faces earlier."

Steve sheathed his sword and walked over to get a better look.

"Huh?", he blurted out, looking absolutely confused.  "You mean... the guy didn't act any different in Buttweasel Mode than he did when he was just a regular ol' human?"

"Of course not," Crurotarsi said.  "You're getting these things mixed up with your werewolf stories again."

Pugh looked up into the sky for a few moments, checking the movement of the clouds, and then reached down to poke the former werebuttweasel a few times.

"Hmm... looks like he's unconscious," he said.  "For now, anyway.  We'd better get him inside before the moon comes out again."

The group stood around for a few minutes wondering where they could take him inside, with Steve mentioning the secret vampire bar and Elvis saying that they should probably take him to a hospital.  Before they were able to decide, they were interrupted by the sound of a car rolling down the street toward them.  It was soon joined by several more cars, along with the sound of an incredibly loud police siren and flashing blue lights.

"Oh crap, it's the cops!", Steve yelled.  He then paused and scratched his head while the others gave him funny looks, and finally shrugged.  "Oh wait... I haven't done anything illegal.  I forgot."

As the cars stopped, several police officers jumped out and almost immediately pulled out their guns.  The vampires raised their hands into the air, not wanting to seem like they had any reason to attack the police.

"What's going on here?", one of them asked.  "We got reports of some kind of monster blasting people into the air and climbing up buildings."

"I don't see no monster," another cop blurted out.  His nearest co-worker reached over and clobbered him over the head with his baton, which only caused him to wobble for a second before giggling like an idiot.

"Your monster's here, all right," Zamboni said.  "It's that kid on the ground, right there."

He pointed toward the naked teenager, causing the cops to glance around at him (and each other) and mumble in confusion.

"No, see, that right there's a naked person," the apparent leader of the police force said.  "Don't know what the hell he's layin' there in the street, but he sure ain't no monster."

"Huh... that's funny," another one of the cops said, scratching his moustache.  "I think I've seen that kid before."

Another cop turned toward him, then suddenly seemed to remember.

"That's right! It's that one guy we had in the lineup!", he said.  "You know, the guy who kept scratchin' his ass the whole time!"

Elvis walked over to the police, holding out his camera.  They lowered their guns and allowed him to approach, then just stood there and watched as he showed them the video of the werebuttweasel reverting to human form as the full moon became covered in clouds.

"Damn," one of the cops mumbled.  "That kid really is the monster, huh?"

Elvis nodded, then turned the camera off and put it back into one of his pockets.  The other vampires then cleared out of the way, allowing the police to scoop up the naked teenager and place him in the back of their car (after handcuffing him, of course.)  They were just about to walk off in the other direction when one of the police headed back over toward them, carrying a camera and a clipboard.

"Okay," he said, flipping the pages of the clipboard until he found a blank one and taking a pen out of his pocket.  "I'm gonna need all of your names."

"I'm Pugh."

"Rhombus."

"Zamboni."

"Elvis."

"Crurotarsi."

"And I am Steve Shishiwakamaru Kusotare!"

Crurotarsi glared over at Steve and punched him in the shoulder, this time hitting the one that wasn't protected by armor.

"Ouch! I mean... my name's Steve.  Just Steve."

The cop mumbled to himself a bit, then began scribbling away on the clipboard.  After a few minutes, he flipped the clipboard's pages back to the way they were before and tucked the whole thing under his arm.

"Now, stand still for a second so I can get a good picture of all of you," he said.  "You guys caught that thing, after all.  Gotta at least give ya a picture in the paper or somethin'."

The vampires paused for a second, with Pugh flinching a bit at the thought of their pictures being in the paper the next morning--sure, it would be a black-and-white picture, so the pale skin wouldn't be so noticeable... but what if someone pointed out the ears? Or, if one of them happened to be smiling in the picture, the fangs?

Before any of them could think to take off running (or at least tell the policeman that they didn't really want their pictures in the paper), there was a bright flash and a loud clicking sound.

"Okay," the cop said, putting his camera away.  "That should be about everything.  Thanks!"

With that, he hopped into one of the police cars, and they all started up and drove off in unison.  The vampires just watched for a few moments as they drove off into the distance (presumably in the direction of the police station, or maybe the jail), then turned and started the walk back to the hotel.