Looking back at Uggy Barfoo (part 6 of many)

Last time, Enduo, Joguo, and Jakarjo powered up their orbs (along with Mejuai's and Roberts) even further... but Nebozu kidnapped Mejuai, planning to brainwash her into becoming his "queen" to rule over whatever's left of the world alongside him after he wrecks it with the power of Moronism.

(Note, that says MORONism, not Mormonism.  I have had people on the Internet slip up a bit when reading and get the two mixed up before, as they're only one letter off... but I came up with the term "Moronism" back before I even knew Mormonism was a thing.  Just like members of all religious/political/etc. groups, some Mormons are also morons... but the name similarity between Mormonism and Moronism was a complete coincidence. XD)

Anyway...

 ...that cave at the back of the room where Nebozu showed up leads to a tunnel that takes you up into the mountains, where there's a little temple.  This is technically an optional area of the game, but what you find here is useful enough that you probably won't want to skip it.

 A brief miniboss battle with these two guys before that, though.

 And that strange blue crystal is...

 

 ...an item that lets you teleport to any town you've previously visited!  And also the Hudawuda Temple, which was where the crystal was sitting until a few seconds ago.  It's basically like Fly in the Pokémon games.

 Also, Joguo has a new super move usable as a Gunner -- basically a rapid-fire attack where he shoots one enemy about a dozen times.  At this point in the game it tends to do somewhere in the range of 130-150 damage, which is more than enough to finish off weaker enemies and a pretty good chunk of damage on tougher ones, too.

 And now we're off to the west coast.  That huge city there is Nalles Geso, which is an anagram of "Los Angeles."

 

 There's an odd sort of background-events plot going on in this game that up to this point I've forgotten to mention.  Basically... back in some of the previous towns, there were several color-coded gangs -- one red, one blue, one green.  The red and blue gangs got forced out of their towns by the green guys (the Yuckows) moving in, so they've headed off across the country following basically the same path that Enduo and company have taken.  You can find random members of both gangs in various places leading up to this point, but it seems Nalles Geso is where they decided to settle down.

But yeah, these two are gangsters from the other side of the country.

 Off to the east side of town, on its own separate map so it can be dark and creepy outside, is the insane asylum.  Where apparently there's somebody with "Nocklockamaphobia," the fear of the absence of clocks.

 And there's an elf, commenting on somebody else thinking they're an elf.

 ...

"Coocoo for Poopoo."

That's a really odd name for an insane asylum right there.

 And there's an illegal weapons shop here, too -- home to a fat turbaned guy who for some reason has a hobo's face sprite, and who apparently worked under Saddam Hussein at some point.

 

 Yep... frog juice.  The illegal weapon shop here is also an illegal drug shop, it seems!  But yeah... this stuff is apparently extracted from the skin of those Mutant Frog enemies from earlier in the game.  Since you can buy it here, and I have enough money for some, that means we'll be seeing the effects of it later on... but not just yet.

 Here's an odd little scene that I had completely forgotten about until I stumbled across it playing through again...

 Apparently this blue-haired girl is Jakarjo's girlfriend... whose existence has not even been remotely hinted at before this point.  He's from the eastern midwest and she's from way off in California, so apparently it was a long-distance relationship or something. XD

I'm not sure what's going on between these two, but it seems he doesn't want her to know that he's Jakarjo for some reason.  Weird.

(Maybe she's actually a stalker or something...?)

 "Stoopies."  There's a word I haven't heard in a while. XD

 Oh, and apparently there's another gang here -- named the "Goldfish Bruthas."  Their color-coding is black and yellow -- not so much in terms of the colors they wear, but in the fact that everyone in the gang is either dark-skinned or has blonde hair. XD

 And there's a random outdoor art museum thingimajigger, apparently run by two fat Italian chefs for some reason.

A lot of these statues were made by this guy.

 A purple boobie, apparently.  Never seen any of those around. XD

 And there's a... I guess something like a strip club?... called the "Slutzenhoez," which you need a membership card to get into.  If I'm remembering right it's not just a strip club but more of a prostitution-related thing, hence the members-only thing which seems intended to keep the police from busting them.

It actually is possible to get a membership card, but only if you find a certain rare enemy and it drops one randomly.

 

 

 Next door to the Slutzenhoez Club is a casino called "Ninja's Tower," run by actual ninjas.  It's not open yet at this point in the game, though.

 Some directions to a couple of towns on the landmass south of here, which I guess is the Mexico/Central America equivalent? It's a bit scrunched for that, but still.

 Guess who that could be? Yep... there's going to be a reappearance of Nancos before too long (and this time I'll actually get a screenshot of the fight. XD)

 And here's another not-open-yet building.  Apparently it was intended to be a place with a bunch of different minigames and things, but I never got around to actually making it, so even at the point in the game when Gooba Land is "open" it isn't actually open.  Whoops.  XD

 Oh, and the Kickme Fake Animal Parts Company is somewhere around here, too.

 

 There's an Italian restaurant where this family constantly talks about how great it is to finally be able to eat pizza without cockroaches in it.  Apparently pizza-roaches are a big problem in this part of the country... would've thought that was only a school cafeteria thing, but apparently not!

 And here's a mad scientist that lets you have an experimental laser gun if you bring him a pair of Radioactive Kitty Ears.  The laser gun is probably the best weapon a Gunner can equip (there's one other that has slightly higher attack power, but it's also cursed) so that might be worth picking up.

 Somebody planning on stealing from the super-rich person who lives in a freaking castle here...

 

 And this secret-agent-looking guy tries to bribe you with Radioactive Kitty Ears in order to keep you from going inside the Kickme factory.  (They cost 1332 konju, which is... well, a lot.)

There's also a beach on the southern end of town, where you can fight some Cthulhu monsters.

 Heading north, there's a pretty big forested area where some new enemies show up.  I'm not entirely sure where this one's name comes from -- I do remember that "Zurfuro" was the name of one of Kitaru's minions in the planned final storyline of the old Gomamon Farm story idea from 1999 (and again in the early 2000s) that never really went anywhere, but he didn't last very long (Kitaru actually killed him if I remember right) and he wasn't a purple tiger in raggedy clothes, either.

Anyway, these guys are mostly unimpressive, but they can paralyze you, and if you're extremely unlucky their Shockwave attack can paralyze everyone at once and give you a Game Over screen right away.

 And up near the northern end of this foresty area is another town...

 ...specifically, Wohgsa, the home of the Booger Fighters (including Robert)!  This is one of the few towns in the game that isn't an anagram of a city/state name.  Though I think at some point I decided I would change it to "Gwosha" instead, I don't tink that change ever made it into the game, as it was probably after I stopped working on it much.

 And here's the Booger Fighter School where Robert learned all about the art of booger-combat.

 There's actually a lot of comments around town about how the Booger Fighters aren't as gross as you'd think -- apparently they follow a "Boogery Oath" that requires regular showering and tooth-brushing, and they have the ability to pick a booger without getting anything stuck on their finger as a result so their hands aren't all gross or anything either.

 The people around these tables mostly talk about different booger techniques, all of which are learned by Robert.

 The bathrooms here are both occupied.  Both occupied by people who have to poop, it seems.

 

 I think Booger Flick is actually supposed to flick the booger at bullet-like speeds, but I don't think I knew exactly how fast that was back when I made this game so I pegged the speed at just "several times faster than cars on the interstate."  Whoops. XD

 

 The bar and inn are combined in this town, unlike most of the others in the game.

 

 Birdies and hobos both like living here, apparently.

 That fish constantly swims out from behind the Hobo House, vanishes off the side of the screen, and then reappears.

 You can't actually go inside Mr. Bugar's house, though you can find his daughter wandering around in the trees behind it.

 

 With the most recent addition to the Orbs' power, Enduo can now become a Psychic... which lets you read the minds of various critters, making it possible to tell what they're saying/thinking.

 And finally I make my way to Robert's house, where a slowed-down version of his theme song is playing.  It speeds up once he realizes something must be up due to Mejuai's absence.

 

 Hey, if the Lord of All That Is Stupid had kidnapped a girl you kinda liked and flew off to the moon after saying he was going to brainwash her to be his "queen," you'd probably want to barf at the thought of what might be going on up there, too.

And of course, Robert joins!... and he's insanely high leveled.  That seems to be a recurring pattern in this game -- whenever a new character joins, they're even more ridiculously overleveled than the last one.

I guess maybe those are the kinds of levels that someone who sucked at the game (like some of the OHR people who had ridiculous degrees of difficulty with the early portions of The K'hyurbhi Lands... almost entirely due to player stupidity... "hurr durr, I'm not gonna buy any armor for the character with the lowest defense!" *blindly stumbles into dungeon* "awww man why is stuff killing me so fast!?") would need to be at to get this far. XD

 With Robert comes his random pirate ship, which he has for some odd reason.  It's the only way to get to the southern continent, as there's not enough shallow water around the edges for the sail barge to make it.

 And here's the town of Lapz, which is...

 ...really small and run-down.  Also, notice that there's someone hiding behind a house on the far right, just barely visible.  That "someone," of course, is...

 ...Nancos!  And this time I did get a screenshot.  Turns out I may have beaten her too quickly, as she never actually activated her Black Orb and changed classes in mid-battle the way she's supposed to.  I remember this fight being much harder if she has a chance to do that.

 

But yeah... here's Robert showing off one of his super moves.  He actually does have one that can be used regardless of his equipment, unlike everyone else -- Megabooger, which drops a booger-meteor on whoever you're targeting with it -- but I decided to use Booger Ray instead since I hadn't tried that one out before this fight.

I think that'll be enough for this post; shortly after this I used the Frog Juice, and I want to save that for its own segment (plus there's another longish dungeon-type area coming up after that, too.)