Okay, I know I said the next part of this might be a while because I was so annoyed by the Leet Neenjah being excessively hard, but... turns out I lucked out and beat him on my next try.
Partly it was because nobody got Yu-Gi-Ohfied, partly because I managed to protect everyone but Spooj from his Funky Beams using shields, and partly because Bridget had just learned Zzzter Gamma and I got lucky with its random targeting and managed to actually hit him with at least one of the three zzzters just about every time I used it... but yeah, I actually managed to beat this ridiculous ninja.
I think probably the biggest problem with him is that I made him able to heal himself so effectively. I probably came close to beating him on at least a few of the previous attempts, but the combination of being able to heal 200-300 HP in one turn and being so hard to hit with most attacks made it possible for the ninja to fully heal without anyone being able to do much about it.
And there's the Fugged Spot he was guarding, "Neenjah Pool," where your weird vision is... the smell of pasta? Okay. XD
And then Dr. McDonuts fixes the little UFO-looking thing and you can fly it to the coastal city of... Boob. Except the flight path is super glitchy, as seen above. You eventually end up in the right place, but some weird stuff happens along the way.
There's random people hanging out on the beach, of course...
And the "Spork Club," which is actually semi-important a bit later on...
And a big roach sitting outside of a shop, which is extremely unimportant...
Beerijuana is... well, exactly what it sounds like: marijuana beer. It makes a reappearance in
Teekee, as one of the beers on the tables for Hans Stinkman's Bierfest. The description in that game says that it isn't actually made with weed, but of course it's made with weed. XD
Most of the random enemies here aren't too interesting, but you'll also run into these guys and a stronger version of the Overly Happy Turd called a "Sand Potato." That one comes from my Boy Scout trip to Assateague Island when I was a lot younger, during which some of the other kids referred to horse poop on the beach as "sand potatoes."
The museum, with lots of Egyptian and Middle-Eastern artifacts. All of them are references to either Mohammed or Yugi from
Yu-Gi-Oh, for some odd reason.
And as always, the Wizdum Man is here with goofy but technically accurate (if you can decipher the goof) advice.
Lots of kitties roaming around in the little town to the right of Boob. Originally they just said "Meow." with no translation in parenthesis, but I fixed that, as you can see above. XD
Inside the Spork Club, where everyone... drinks water, stares at a rock, and babbles psuedo-philsophical stuff at you.
Yep... as you could probably guess from the purple distorted screenshot that comes around after you eat the cake, that would be "special" in the same sense that "special brownies" are special. XD
After that, you have a dream/hallucination/vision... which happens to be exactly what's going on somewhere else in the world (or maybe elsewhere...) at the time.
And by "somewhere else" I mean... Spaamu, also known as "Darkness Land," where Xehanort is currently living (and apparently he's become a
prince there!) after escaping from the Nuthouse back in Pibb. XD
Xnort's starting items, and a few you can find in chests in the throne room... yeah, he has three regular Heartless and an extra-large one. XD
Of course, the random NPCs hanging around have very different things to say now. This is also the only area of the game where I edited the map's colors so drastically -- originally it was fairly normal aside from the pink clouds, but now everything's blue and purple and the sky is always black with purple clouds.
And apparently they just randomly start humping in the middle of the road here... >_<
Spoofing a textbox from the original game which implied that garlic smelled bad.
Muwhahahaha,
dorkness! Wait, what? XD
The "darkness" food items only work for Xnort, having drastically reduced effects for everyone else. Same goes in reverse -- foods that the others like don't work as well for Xnort.
Yep... Bunnies of Darkness.
And here's the place where Xnort goes for his training. Standing nearby is "Mr. Darkness," who uses the sprite that was originally the hint man. The guy who was here originally, with a slightly edited sprite, was used for the Wizdum Man. So yeah, I basically just switched the two around, heh.
A few brief words from Mr. Darkness, before he transforms into a spooky black spirit thing and floats away off the top of the screen. You'll be seeing him again later, of course.
Xnort's training is much like Poo's training in
Earthbound... except with spoofing involved, of course. No genitalia (or octopuses) were ever mentioned in the original version.
Funnily enough, this guy kinda looks a bit like Master Xehanort. If I remade this game now, I'd probably edit the sprite to have pointy ears and remove the mustache and dangly hair bit so the resemblance would be even closer.
And with that, Xnort levels up around 12 times and then teleports to Boob, where Eddie, Bridget, and Spooj are currently lying on the beach recovering from their Magic Cake trip...
And his first-appearance speech. He's "an uber black guy of darkness." XD
Finally the full party is all here! Plus a random Heartless following behind, since Xnort came with four of them. XD
And the Kraken is now... cute. Its huge scary teeth have been shrunk down and it now has goofy little beady eyes. And apparently it just wants to hug everything, but it's so huge that hugging things causes ships to get squished and sink. So... you have to fight it.
And now, on to Bagdad (spelling intentional), where you'll meet... this guy, who appears to be sitting at the top of a climbable rope on the roof of a building... but apparently that's actually not a rope at all. He must be a genie with a ten-foot weenie.
The outdoor market in Bagdad, where you can find some... strange items. Such as the Bag o' Bugs, individual Icky Bugs, Bird Flu Spray, Freaky Spores, and more!
Including some very strange food items. HUMAN BABY SOUP!?
And here you can clearly see a pothead camel.
The Kraken's defeat message in battle actually doesn't suggest that it died -- it only "got beat up and swam away..." So I'm not sure if something else killed the critter, or if people in town are just
assuming that it's dead.
Yep, there are indeed Nameks somewhere in this game.
And here's the first pizza enemy I added into the game (the Large Cheese Pizza came around later, though it does appear earlier in the game), the Revenge of the Pizza. The name was reused for the title of a cookbook you can find in the New Hamster library in
Okédoké.
I forgot that to get into the pyramid, you need the copy of the heiroglyphics from Boob's museum. So I had to go back there... which led me back to the Big museum, where the researcher has discovered weird stuff in the sewer entrance behind the museum. But he won't let you in unless you bring him Venus's autograph on something. Originally he asks for an autographed eraser, but then decides he'd be okay with anything, even toilet paper!
...okay, that's not quite toilet paper, but considering that it's
used it's even worse than toilet paper. XD
Yep... but he takes it anyway. XD
And in the sewer is... a big mutated guy, apparently.
Also some new (recolored) enemies: Pikachus from Hell, Rapin' Roaches, and Stinky Ghosts. The Stinky Ghosts are the only really annoying ones (due to their insanely high defense), but they're all capable of doing halfway-decent damage. Pikachus from Hell are much tougher than regular Pikachus, it seems.
Xnort's "dead" graphics are a bit different than everyone else's -- rather than the "winged, halo-ed angel outline" he's all black and creepy-looking. XD
And apparently the newspapers are
already aware that Xnort is in town, and are spreading rumors that he's looking for Xnort fangirls... XD
The next one of these will go further into the sewer, and then back to Turribahn-land for the pyramids. Depending on how long that takes, I may go even further into the game than that.
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