Man, I'm going through this
a lot faster than I thought I would... already nearly halfway through the Fugged Spot bosses, considering that I cleared the third today (you'll see it later on in this post) and there's only eight of them total. Anyway, continuing where I left off, in the zombie-infested town of Goomba...
The Boogie Tent is essentially unchanged from the way it was in the original
Earthbound, but the Fly Honey it originally was concealing is now a jar of Bean Dip. Both Bean Dip and the "Nasty Bean Crud" mentioned above are references to foods my dad likes... and Smell Funneh (mentioned in the Bean Dip's description, and appearing further down in here) has a face exactly like my dad's, hence the references.
Vexen calls, mentioning that he's invented something to help deal with zombies... "Zombie Paper," which is made using super-sticky duct tape. Its effects can be seen in the above screenshot. He gets the Mach Piffa delivery guy to bring it to you (...pizza in this game is called "piffa," by the way. Only because I forgot that there was a pizza shop in Clifton Forge when fiddling with the tileset so that you could actually put "Clifton Forge" on one of the signs, and replaced the Z in Pizza with an F... thus, Piffa.)
And of course, now that the zombies are out of the way you can use the tunnel under the graveyard to travel north of town...
...though it is guarded by this guy, Baron von Earwax. He was originally a fairly bland recolor boss with no actual identity (so bland I can't even remember what the boss's name originally was, even) but now he's got a little more uniqueness to him. Rather than burps and barf like the other blobs, he has earwax powers, hence the "icky orange stuff" mentioned above. He also has a goofy theme song for his battle (...which was the "riding on a boat" song in
Earthbound, too.)
On the other side of a brief outdoor map and an even briefer cave is this place... Uranus Valley, home to the Mr. Uranuses (or would that be Mr. Urani?) They are basically giant butts with legs and faces, all wearing identical red bows. And their ATM machines are... uh...
...they're very butt-like as well, literally pooping out money with realistic (okay, exaggerated) grunting and sweating.
There's also some new enemies in the area, such as redneck zombies, Gatordiles... and Afroed Frogs, which have absurdly high defense for some odd reason.
There are also "Mr. Ding-a-Lings," which have made the game somewhat notorious on
Earthbound forums as "the one with the giant penis enemies" back when it was a recent release. I have taken a screenshot of one as it's fading to solid white when defeated as a minor form of censorship so you people don't have to see the full detail version, just a white silhouette. XD
Along the way, Spooj repaired the Broken Shotgun during a stay at the Mr. Uranus hotel. It's apparently a legendary shotgun used by the very first redneck, who was of course named Bubba.
And now, after waiting three minutes at the waterfall, I've made it inside Smell Funneh's base, which is...
...infested with
hordes of Hello Kitties which can attack in groups as large as six, and slow the game down with their twitchy movement in mass numbers. They're not very strong, and sometimes will attempt to use ki attacks (and fail), but there's a ton of 'em.
You'll occasionally come across blob monsters which will talk to you rather than attacking (some attack instead, though.) Apparently they don't believe that Smell Funneh could possibly be working for Dubya, somewhat reminiscent of the Yenrab minions in the 2006 version of
Frankfurter's Quest for Soap not buying the rumors that Barney answers to "some guy named Bozo" (...aka Ma-Du Nebozu)
And here's Smell Funneh himself. I told you his face was based off of my dad's. XD
It's impossible to beat him fighting normally, but if you use the Bean Dip jar you found earlier in the game...
...he gets so distracted eating the stuff that you can beat the crap out of him while he's busy snacking and he never actually attempts to attack you again.
The Mr. Uranuses, rather than saying "boing!" and "ding!", will randomly blurt out cusswords and various potty terminology, as seen above. They also have an Olde English type font rather than their original squiggle-like one.
And now Uranus Valley is free, with its buttish inhabitants no longer under threat of being kidnapped and forced to work in a Bean Dip bottling plant. And this one thanks you by offering you some weed... if you say yes, you get the following scene, with text going over your adventure so far while swirly blue and green stuff blorps around in the background. Apparently this was the result of "coffee" in the original
Earthbound, but... I think it probably makes just a bit more sense in my version. XD
 |
| There's a few glitches here in there. "More" was cut off and mangled partially onto the next line. |
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The "crispy steak" was a particularly disgusting thing my elementary school cafeteria served.
(I really did throw up once just from smelling it. >_<) |
I'm not sure why I never went back and fixed the weird overlapping text bits in this scene... but oh well. It still
mostly works. XD
After that, you can head through a short cave and wilderness area (infested with fairly strong enemies -- especially dangerous are the Super Mushrooms which attack with Roasty if you don't finish them off quick) and reach the third Fugged Spot boss...
Gurivyo, flanked by two Mega Marijuanas which may heal the big tentacled... bug... plant... thing. Or uselessly try to heal each other when they aren't even hurt, that happens sometimes too. Anyway, Gurivyo isn't too incredibly tough at this point in the game, though it's not exactly an
easy fight either...
Especially if you get really unlucky like I did on my first attempt. Spooj died to poison, then Eddie got knocked out by the Funky Beam incoming in this screenshot, and then Bridget got paralyzed and, although she kept blasting away with Roasty Beta, eventually lost the fight.
I did a better job the second time around. The Roasty attack shown above was the attack that finished Gurivyo off, actually! After the damage message, the next line was "Gurivyo splattered everywhere!" followed by an absurd amount of experience points (11,000ish, if I'm remembering right.)
Gurivyo is set to make a reappearance in
Fnrrf Ygm Schnish: Alleghany Hell School, guarding the ancient sword Greengrad which Joguo Goueng-Zu can find at the peak of Mt. Goribo. Though Gurivyo isn't incredibly powerful compared to some of the other late-game bosses, the thing is fairly smart, noticing that several possible opponents are approaching and splitting them up before they can reach the mountain's peak. By the time you reach that point in that game, your team will be Eddie, Joguo, and Damuru-J (plus either Jay or Pugh, or neither if you haven't gotten them yet) and each will have to climb the last segment of the mountain alone, with Eddie and Damuru-J having solo battles with a weaker boss near the top and Joguo (plus either Jay or Pugh) reaching Gurivyo first. If Eddie and Damuru-J win their own fights, they'll join in against Gurivyo as well; if not, you'll find them knocked out at the base of the mountain when you climb back down (assuming Joguo wins without their help, anyway! if he doesn't, he'll be knocked out right along with them.) And even if Eddie wins, he'll only be able to join the fight if he's already undergone Num Power training by this point -- otherwise he can't reach the peak in time before Joguo's fight is over. Damuru-J will always step in if she wins her fight, though, since she can just fly up there inside a barrier as soon as she's done with her fight.
...and there I went rambling about a current game in the middle of a post about an old game. XD Oh well. Next time, I'll be covering the city mentioned in the "smokes reefer before go?" scene above -- the big city of... Big. And also the desert area before that. The desert and Big take a while if I'm remembering right, so I may actually have to split that segment of the game into two parts... or just post one ridiculously long one.
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