Looking back -- Fnrrf Ygm Schnish, the Earthbound ROM hack (part 1 of many)

Waaaay back in the vicinity of 2005, I started on a ROM hack of one of the great old Super Nintendo RPGS -- I'm talking about Earthbound, to be specific (though I also attempted a Final Fantasy 6 hack a couple times that never quite got finished.)  The hack was simply titled "Fnrrf Ygm Schnish," and it managed to cover the entire game from start to end with all kinds of silliness.  In addition to retaining some of the game's original silliness, of course. XD

Anyway... I've recently started playing through the game again, and I figured I'd write about it -- my thoughts on the thing looking back, what I was  thinking when I made it, and of course loads and loads of screenshots.  Of course, I'll be starting off where the game itself starts off: with Clifton Forge.

But before that, the intro sequence and title screen!

Yes, Giygas was replaced with "Dubya" (aka George W. Bush) in this thing. XD

I'm still pretty happy with this title screen, even a decade later.

Even the logos of the companies that made the original game, which displayed before "THE WAR AGAINST DUBYA" popped up, got goofed around with.  Nintendo's familiar logo became "Ninjutsu" with a little ninja dude sitting on one end of it, "APE" became "Bigass Monkey," and the third logo -- I think it was HAL Laboratory (more commonly known for Kirby than for their connection to Earthbound) -- was replaced altogether with a "Num Power" one.

The game starts off pretty much exactly like Earthbound but with some names changed.  The year is 2004 rather than 199X, and the town is Clifton Forge rather than Onett.  The meteor lands, and the main character (in this game, basically just me -- also known as Eddie, though various other "default name" options also exist for him) goes  to investigate.  Instead of Ness's pajamas, Eddie goes out in nothing but some black shorts (forgetting to put his glasses on, even!) at first.  Pokey is (of course) replaced by Adam Nebozu, and Picky by his sister.  Ness's dog was transformed into Teekee, making this his first game appearance a decade before he had  his own game.

Eddie, Nebozu, Teekee... and Eddie's mom over by the table.

"Furt Furt" explains stuff.

After going up to the meteor, you meet "Furt Furt," Buzz Buzz's replacement.  He explains that in the future, Dubya has become "The President of Evil" and has destroyed everything.  Funnily enough, this actually ends up being foreshadowing for the state of pure evil and chaos that Dubya appears in when you finally meet him at the end of the game... unlike in Earthbound where nobody really had any reason to suspect that Giygas is not so much "intelligent evil villain guy" as "gone so crazy that he's just a swirling, incoherently-babbling demon face background rather than anything resembling his original form" until you get to him.

 On the way back down from the hill, your way is blocked by one of Dubya's followers from the post-apocalyptic future that was apparently supposed to have come around last year according to this game.  The "Bush S.S." (meaning Bush Secret Service) in the future are apparently robots in suits and ties with psychic powers rather than actual human secret service agents.  I attempted to expand this boss battle a bit to make it feel more like a real boss rather than just "Buzz Buzz easily wins" as in the original game, but I think I may have made it drag out a little too long as a result. XD

In the aftermath of the night's events, Adam is punished with "no dessert until the Apocalypse" by his dad Bonhayde Nebozu (I think I spelled it "Bonhedd" at the time I made this game, but still, the silly-spelling-of-bonehead thing was already present.)  And Teekee vows to never go outside again, even if Mom wants to kick him out for supposedly peeing everywhere.

Following the sunrise, you get to finally explore Clifton Forge, including....

 ...the library, where a somewhat snarky girl dressed as an elevator attendant talks about how she can't read (if I'm remembering right, this was loosely based on a brief Livejournal comment interaction at the time, in which the other person completely mangled the meaning of what my comment was saying, thus appearing to be someone who could not read.)

 There's also some people more typical of a library, like a guy who talks about the next Harry Potter... err, I mean, Harry Pothead... book that's about to come out.

 

 And there's also an "Aggressive Biblethumper" who recently read The Da Vinci Code and was stirred into an incoherent angry-religious-person rage at the implications that Jesus married and had kids.  Yeah, referencing how that was a big controversial thing when the book first came out.  He comes out of nowhere and asks your opinion about that, and you have two options -- agree with him just to get him off your back, or say no and start a fight.  At this point in the game it's an excessively hard fight, too, since these guys don't show up as normal enemies until later.

I like how this bit turned out -- I programmed this guy myself.  There wasn't anyone in the library who'd attack you if you answered "wrong" to a yes/no question in the original Earthbound, of course. XD

 And this guy comments on the Metroids you can find floating around in various spots.  Usually, they will kiss you, which restores your energy.  There's one spot in the game where they'll attack instead, though.

 And aside from the library, there's also a treehouse hideout hidden away among... trees.  In there, a kid will give you a pair of sunglasses that he apparently got from Ah-nold Schwarzeneggar.  Originally he gave you his hat, but that always seemed a bit silly to me since the kid clearly still has his hat on even after he gives it to you... plus, I don't like hats, so all the hat-type items in the original game were changed to glasses-type ones instead.

 There's also a couple of "wandering Krillins" hanging out next to a locked shack near the base of the hill.  They say "mondo cool" in almost every textbox. XD

And there's also Kingdom Hearts (well, Organization XIII in specific) references all over the game, the first few of which show up right here in Clifton Forge.  Mostly replacing random NPCs, but a few take the place of major characters instead.  These references were not present in the original 2005 version of the hack, but were added in sometime in the 2006-2007 range when I expanded upon the original version drastically and moved it a lot further away from the original game than it was before.

 Another possibly-important place around town is the "Wizdum Man's" house, where he has a booth set up for people to come up and pay him some money in exchange for a bit of goofy and vague advice.  As should be extremely obvious, this guy was the direct inspiration for the Wizdum Man who shows up in Chapters 2 and 4 of Okédoké! La Leyenda Mexicana.

 The Burger Shop from the original game has been changed to a chicken-themed restaurant named "Bite-a-Bird," due to the fact that the main character of the game doesn't eat burgers (or anything beef-based.)  Bite-A-Bird also reappeared in Okédoké, this time as Canada's number one chicken-based fast food restaurant.

 And inside Bite-A-Bird, another Kingdom Hearts reference.  I think I managed to fit just about every member of the Organization into this game in one way or another... only a few don't end up either mentioned or actually appearing in-person.

And the random trucks/vans around town have been fiddled with a bit.  This one's based on some graffiti I saw on a big delivery-van type vehicle around the time I was making this... though I changed the meaning a bit, I'm guessing. XD

 

 And the gang from the original game was replaced with "The Swarm," which in this game is made up of "Pretty Evil Girls," "Bratty Rich Nerd Girls," and "Underage Prostitutes."  One of those three is not even remotely based on the actual Swarm I knew in high school, at least as far as I'm aware.  It should be obvious which one that is. XD

 

 If you say "yes," she just says "Go lose some weight, fatty!" rather than actually letting you join them.  Because of course they won't let you join them.

 And the boss of the Swarm in this game is none other than Sarah Nancos Fartbean, going by first name only in this case.  She "chants a magic spell" one turn before firing an energy beam at you, and she can also "say something nasty" to reduce your Shiznit level or attack with her claws.  She's... a bit underwhelming compared to the versions of her that appear in my other games, like Alleghany Hell School and Okédoké, but that's to be expected considering she's the first boss here rather than being optional or near the end of the game. XD

 

After you beat her, she calls upon the power of her vast cellphone collection, which has apparently been conglomerated into one gigantic cellphone robot: the Cellphone Megazord! It's a pretty difficult fight at this point in the game, with its one weak point being that every attack is preceded by a "the Cellphone Megazord started picking up a signal" message -- so it never attacks two turns in a row, giving you some time to heal.

After you break her robo-phone, she throws a fit, calling you "mean! and AWKWARD!"... but then gives you some information about stuff going on around town, randomly, since you beat up her robot.  I don't understand the logic here either. XD

Anyway... as usual in Earthbound, after this you can go to the mayor and get the key to the locked shack where the Krillins were hanging out before...

 ...where one of them will reward you with a pair of Baggy Pants (which resist paralysis attacks) for unlocking the door.  And on the other side of the shack is a cave, where new enemies show up...

 

 ...enemies like "Overly Happy Turds," which would definitely be redesigned to resemble one of my coworkers if I drew them now.  They'd probably even be called "Turdlers."

 

 There's also "Angry Pikachus," replacing the generic mice.  They attempt to use "Zzzter," but since they're only Pikachus, they don't actually have enough power to use such a strong attack... their weak-ass attempts at shocking you actually do no damage whatsoever.  Because come on, a piddly little Pikachu wouldn't be able to do much even to real-life normal Eddie, what are they going to do against video-game superpowered Eddie?

 ...they're going to be crushed instantly by a blast of Num Power, that's what. XD

 The big sparkly thing that indicated a main boss previously is now a big "boss!" sign with what appears to be airport landing lights flashing in red on top.  You still have to talk to the sign to fight the boss, oddly.

 And here's the first boss -- "Big Bug Bubba," clearly a Bush supporter (he's got a bumper sticker right there on his abdomen!), and two Servant Redneckpedes which will heal their boss.  It's pretty easy to wipe out the Redneckpedes in one shot with the Numnum attack, but Bubba is still fairly hard due to the fact that he just does so much damage.  You have to heal a lot.  I kind of went overboard with the difficulty in the early parts of this game, to the point where beating the Swarm is borderline impossible without a few level-ups and improved equipment (Walking Stick replacing your starting Pointy Stick and the Ah-Nold Shades, ideally) and the first "real" boss, which was super easy originally, is actually kinda tough this time.  This trend continued for a while, but once you get to the point where you have three characters in your party things get a little less ridiculous, if I'm remembering right.

The sequence in the police station is pretty much unchanged, aside from Captain Strong's secret technique being "Super Ultra Ghetto Gepetto Martial Arts" now rather than... whatever it was originally.  Oh, and some text of course -- there's a Wandering Krillin hanging out near the jail cells, and a receptionist who talks about wanting to go off and join the Swarm rather than working there.

And that's the last of Clifton Forge! Next time around, the city of Pibb, where everyone drinks Mr. Pibb.  For some reason.  I'm not sure why I named it that... XD