And now that Uranus Valley and Goomba are done with, it's time to go east across the desert, to the big city of... uh... Big.
Apparently in the desert, stores can just advertise that they sell drugs right out in the open. Well okay, they don't actually sell
drugs drugs -- it's just a regular ol' drug store, and these signs were exactly the same in the original
Earthbound -- but the signs do pretty much look that way. XD
There's also some new enemies, such as this confused and nauseated floating metal sphere... however
that works. XD
Also present: Parasalophamuses (or would it be "Parasalophami?" either way, the name is based on a silly intentional mispronunciation of "Parasauralophus" from back in my elementary/middle school years), Drunken Wolves, Bratty UFOs, and Sgusto Worms. Of this group, only the Sgusto Worms have made a reappearance in more recent games, showing up in both
The K'hyurbhi Lands and
Fnrrf Ygm Schnish: Alleghany Hell School. They don't have a certain ability from this ROM hack in those games, though...
...that ability being staring at you with their creepy bloodshot eye in a way that somehow causes you to
transform into a freaking Yu-Gi-Oh card, of course. XD "Yu-Gi-Ohfied" was a status ailment that replaced the "Diamondized" status in the original
Earthbound, complete with floating giant card graphics for characters who were unlucky enough to fall victim to it.
And on the other side of the desert is the city of Big... shown here, the Moron Theater where the PP Gang is (once again) out of money and stuck performing at.
One of the occasional randomly-encountered enemies to be found in the city. And of course, he "grumbles about today's youth" as a method of attack (which reduces your Shiznit stat a bit.)
A random bit of goofiness added in the later stages of the ROM hack, after
Mother 3 was already released in Japan. This replaces the "game-making company holding a planning meeting for Mother 3" building from the original game.
And of course, the Wizdum Man can be found here, too... in a position more similar to the one he shows up in in
Okédoké, hanging out outside somewhere rather than having his own house.
There's a dinosaur museum in Big, where you can find both cannibal dinosaurs and fake dinosaur bones. And also a panties-obsessed perverted dude who wants to buy "dinosaur panties" from the museum... XD
And here's the PP Gang again. Apparently rappers have a sixth sense now? XD
You can't ride the bus from Big to other cities due to a glitch that made screwy things happen if you tried. In-game, however, it's explained as the result of high gas prices in the city instead, and you're advised to "come back in 2008" (after Bush leaves office, of course) if you want to ride the bus. Of course, in this game Dubya has turned into a crazy pure-evil being and taken over the world by then... the bus company wasn't expecting that one. XD
And finally, here's a screenshot of what happens when you stumble upon a Metroid. (There are Metroids that just attack like normal enemies in the desert, too... but everywhere else, you get this message.)
There's somebody digging for buried treasure out in the desert... but their dig is interrupted by the attacks of scary monsters such as "subterranean rednecks" and "big English moles."
...and also Fungickens (previously seen in Canada), Pink Rattlesnakes, and Huge-Ass Redneck Ants. I wish I'd made the "English-ness" of the Bloody English Moles more obvious in this game... like, giving them a tophat and monocle and a cup of tea or something, or making their text-boxes use British accents and slang terms and such. Instead, all you have to go by is their name and their "speak with an English accent" attack. Yes, they somehow use that as an attack. I'm not sure how that works. XD
The "Stupid Mice" (aka half-Pikachu mice) make a repeat appearance in this cave. A different family of them, of course, since the mother of the first set of Stupid Mice wasn't the crazy murderous religious nut that this one appears to be.
And, as the name "stupid mice" suggests, the half-Pikachu mice are... not too bright. XD
And apparently I
did actually slip some British stuff in to the "Bloody English Mole" dialogue here and there -- it was just the first one I ran into before didn't say anything British. They still have the "they all think they're the third-strongest" thing from the original game too, of course. Maybe I should've exaggerated the Britishness instead of keeping that in?
And here's what happens if you hold onto an "Oozing Spore Pod" for too long. First, it hatches into a Baby Fungicken which just makes weird noises (and is edible!) Later, it transforms into an adult Fungicken, which will make more weird noises and then ooze away if you try to use it as an item, doing absolutely nothing.
After you clear out the Bloody English Moles, the miners can continue mining... which eventually gets you the Turd Crystal, which replaces the diamond from the original game.
And with that, you can bribe the Moron Theater's owner to let the PP Gang go. And during their last show, another singer makes an appearance -- keeping the name "Venus" from
Earthbound (apparently just a stage name) but with a slightly-altered appearance, for some reason. I can't remember who (if anyone) she was supposed to be...
Visiting the Monotoli Building, you can stumble across Adam and his dad, who are living there now that Nebozu has somehow managed to BS his way into a political/economic advisor position for the rich dude. And here's the game's lone mention of Nebozu's dad's name. Nebozu's mom is absent, for some odd reason.
And now you can get into the department store, too. Where you can meet a Final Fantasy 7 reference as well as see a shop that's had its name altered a bit (originally it said "SPORTS," now it's "GARBAGE"... the items sold are exclusively crappy weak ones from
very early in the game that are basically useless now. XD)
And then the power goes out and Bridget gets randomly kidnapped, and not-so-inanimate versions of various inanimate objects (and also powered-up Heartless known as "Darkness Cockroaches") come out. This part of the game is kind of obnoxiously hard, thanks to every single enemy having at least one really annoying attack -- the molten cheese flood mentioned above, as well as the Ace of Turds' Yu-Gi-Oh-fication ray and the Darkness Cockroaches' tendency to breed rapidly. It's easier to just run from everything and head straight for the boss.
...and this guy, of course, is the boss. Yeah, it's Chucky, as in the murderer doll guy from the movies. XD
Some random post-power-outage quotes from random shoppers. Apparently the Rude lookalike was stompin' some roaches during the power outage.
And after exploring around a bit you can find Zexion again, lying on his back in an alley. Apparently Monotoli broke his squeegee because he was snooping around and squeegeed the Moofy-Moofy statue. He gives you a hint on how to move onward from this point... go into the cafe nearby and check the wall behind the bar.
Which leads to the screen blanking out, and then... you end up in this place. The city of Large, where everything is a neon hallucination, pretty much.
And there's some weird enemies there. Including the dreaded Robo-Pimp, probably the most dangerous of those that appear in Large...
...and the significantly-less-dangerous Large Cheese Pizza.
When you get to this room with no doors and meet the invisible guy who... has some very unusual features in the crotchal region (I won't describe them in detail, for the sake of those reading -- the hack's description is pretty graphic... XD)... Mr. T will helpfully throw you helluva far, sending you back to the hotel.
Oh, and here's another of Large's bizarre enemies that I met on the way to the end of the area. There's a sailor-looking guy who won't let you past unless the invisible guy is following you... and once you do get past him...
Yep... that's the Moofy-Moofy statue. Originally it was called the Mani-Mani statue and looked like an Oscar statue with devil horns. In my version of the game it's apparently had a sex-change, no more horns, just hair and a dress. Still just a shiny and brainwashing as before, though!
And after a bit of a fight, the Moofy-Moofy statue is eventually destroyed, and Large (being just a hallucination) vanishes along with it.
And along with the Moofy-Moofy being broken in half comes the realization that apparently it was just a magical (possibly sentient?) bong all along, getting people absurdly high so they see another world.
And then there's this random Pikachu, who (along with the "terrible parent" Pikachu from the desert caves) proves the statement of the grungy guy earlier in the game -- "most Pikachus are stupid and evil." XD
And after you leave the secret back room of the cafe, you'll get a call from Vexen, who mentions that he tried to invent a machine to generate yogurt in many flavors (including his favorite, avocado) but messed up and ended up making one that only spits out TROUT-FLAVORED yogurt. Ewww. Anyway, he sends a delivery guy to you to bring you the yogurt dispenser. But before he can finish what he's saying, Axel randomly shows up in his lab and blows up his fridge for no apparent reason, cutting off the phone call. XD
Next time: the rest of Big! Maybe? I can't remember just how much more is left in this city now, it's been so long since I've played through... XD
No comments:
Post a Comment