When we last left off, Eddie, Bridget, Spooj, and Xehanort had discovered an entrance to the Big sewers where a "big mutated guy" could supposedly be found. And now...
...yep, that does indeed look like a big mutated guy.
Random Person #728 has a bit of an odd history. Originally, he was just a random human who showed up briefly in the comic I wrote a few issues of back in my last couple of high school years,
Crappy World: Zyorudenu. He got killed early on, then a wish to the Genie of the Nasty Old Fruit Drink brought him back later... only for him to be possessed and absorbed by the Rupoo, allowing the Rupoo to reach full power. So eventually he ended up dead
again when the Rupoo was destroyed.
And then, in a
Final Fantasy 6 hack that I started on back around the time I started on this game, the boss "Number 024" was renamed "Number 728" and given a head/face like the
Crappy World character had. And
that version inspired the boss you see here. He also makes a return appearance in
Fnrrf Ygm Schnish: Alleghany Hell School, in which his fighting style resembles a blend of the one he used in the
FF6 hack and the one he uses in this one.
This attack is shared by #728 and Baron von Earwax (and also Ladybugs/Bean Beetles when you squish them.) In
FYS:AHS and in the
FF6 hack, it's named "Scum"... but in this one it's described rather than named.
#728 turns out to be fairly tough, but not nearly as obnoxious as the Leet Neenjah... despite having the ability to
fully heal himself. He didn't seem to spam it as much, and he can only nauseate you rather than Yu-Gi-Oh-izing and paralyzing and who knows what else like the ninja did.
And here's an item that will open the way to the
next Fugged Spot, not shown in this post. And the Wizdum Man explains how it works.
But for now, I'm going to avoid that 6th Fugged Spot and instead proceed through the desert and into the pyramid!
There's a good selection of new enemies here, most of them spoofed around in some way. The mummies least of all, though their name and death message are very different.
The hieroglyphs on the wall are... a bit different than in the original
Earthbound, as you'll see if you look closely. XD
Throwing Icky Bugs to poison an animated AK-47 hieroglyph: somehow it works.
Oh, and there's ladybugs here, replacing the generic spiders from before.
Grave-robbing: it's GHETTOOO-RIFFIC!!
Some attacks used by these new enemies.
Apparently I got the effect of Freaky Spores mixed up with the Oozing Spore Pods earlier --
this is the one that makes a mushroom grow on an enemy's head. I can't remember what the Oozing Spore Pod does, if that's not it... will have to go back and check I guess.
And here's... a lame excuse for a boss, as the name suggests. XD
This one punch is the only attack the Lame Excuse for a Boss actually managed to land before I kicked the crap out of it. The name is appropriate. Pretty much the only boss-like trait of this thing is its high defense... I even gave it a "goofy, non-threatening" battle music. XD
Of course.
Eskimo clothes found stashed away in an ancient Egyptian pyramid. Yeah, that makes no sense at all, but oh well. XD
Mr. Darkness returns! Apparently he mastered that "higher level of mwahaha" he was talking about in his last appearance, and now wants to teach Xnort the power of "uber darkness."
And then Xnort leaves, dropping the full 4-person party back down to 3 again. Aww...
More new enemies. Well, one is... the Homophobic UFOs (why are they green, anyway??) were in the earlier desert area, too.
And more goofy camel messages.
Well, here's a new enemy. The "Organization XIII Wannabe," who apparently is a Luxord wannabe to be specific, going by the English accent. Though their other attacks aren't especially Luxord-themed (no Yu-Gi-Oh-fication ray, for one thing.)
And after a bit of wandering in the desert, you find the key to enter Dungeon Man...
Who stores some very unusual food items in gift boxes inside his body.
And some old, relatively wimpy enemies (though the molten cheese flood and Yu-Gi-Oh ray are still a threat even at this point in the game.)
And the random inhabitant of Dungeon Man's bathroom is a reference to a ridiculous song I came up with when I was 5 years old, not long after I went away to school for the first time. I sang it while... well, as the song says... pooping in the dark (in the classroom's bathroom, with the lights turned off.) XD
The "zoo" level of Dungeon Man, with spoofed-up descriptions for two of the three critters.
And... the escape hole is "Dungeon Man's A-Hole" now. XD
Glitch alert! When Bridget got Yu-Gi-Ohfied, and I went to the built-in hospital to restore her to her normal non-card-shaped self, Spooj randomly switched to Eddie's palette, becoming darker gray with a brown suit. Wonder what caused that.
And now you have Dungeon Man following you. And... hey, what's that crawling around in the desert!? Could it be...?
...it is! It's the legendary Yogurt Snail! This is a goofy little critter I've been drawing since I was in my last year of high school. Originally, Yogurt Snails were just big snails and weren't intended to be especially powerful... but after a while I changed my mind on this and now they appear as a rarely encountered "super-boss" level enemy in some of my games.
You'll always get a free turn of attacks against the Yogurt Snail, but if you intend to actually beat the thing... you'll need it. Heck, the free turn really doesn't even help considering how strong this thing is. It makes the Leet Neenjah look like a complete joke in comparison. Regular attacks from Eddie or Bridget don't even start doing more than 1 damage until I've used Power-Up two or three times, it can heal itself (slightly more so than the Neenjah), and its attack power is insanely high.
Eddie now has the third level of his "Numnum" attack. Not that it did much good against the Yogurt Snail -- it does plenty of damage, sure, but the Yogurt Snail has over 10,000 HP. 13370 HP, to be exact. XD
Oh, and it uses a level of Zzzter that nobody will get until near the end of the game, which fires
four Zzzter blasts the strength of Zzzter Gamma. This is actually one of its least-dangerous attacks, as at least the Zwoobah Orb can reflect these.
Spying on the snail with Spooj. Highest stats of any enemy in the game right here.
It can heal itself with items, and also with Ki. This is the item it uses.
Yay!
...not yay. That tornado attack is extremely dangerous, doing 300-600 damage to everyone (including Dungeon Man!) And yes, the Yogurt Snail can actually kill Dungeon Man if you bring him to fight it... it only takes two tornado attack hits to pull it off. Though this doesn't seem to break the game, he's back again as though nothing happened after you lose.
Needless to say, I never actually beat the Yogurt Snail. Will have to come back and try again (much) later on.
Spooj fixed another broken item and made this one.
And here's Dungeon Man's old vehicle collection. Including a very well-preserved Dead Roach.
Also a healing machine stolen from Dr. McDonuts, and the origin of the quote "Hee hee! I'm bad."
More glitchiness with the submarine. It starts out weirdly burrowing through sand,
then goes in the water, and then some glitchiness, and then reaches its normal destination.
Teach the monkey how to teleport and he'll give you some... uhh... monkey porn. Great... >_<
The original game acted as if this was some
mysterious swamp voodoo that hurt you, even though your characters' heads are clearly below the water level when you start taking damage. The monkey here pokes at that a bit, heh.
And here's some new enemies. The Fuzzy Pickle is a reference to what the cameraman originally said in place of "Cheese!" in
Earthbound (he now says "say 'Organization XIII!' instead.) Red Alligutos, the fire-spitting stronger version of regular Alligutos, have existed in my stuff since at least 4th grade.
And right at the end of the swamp... Smell Funneh makes a return appearance! He's looking a little green, but... it's him all right. And now he's claiming to be Eddie's father. This is, of course, a joke on how his face is based on my dad's.... though the game doesn't confirm or deny the truthfulness of the claim.
Also it's a bit of a Star Wars joke, because of course a speech including "I am your father" is going to be a Star Wars joke.
And here he is, Smell Funneh, being his usual stanky gross self.
Right as you're about to beat him... Xnort returns! And he's yelling something about DARKNESS! (Because he's
always yelling something about darkness, that's kind of his defining character trait isn't it? XD)
And then he finishes off Green Recolored Smell Funneh with his new "DARKNESS!" attack, which is... well, it's exactly like Poo's Starstorm from
Earthbound with a different name.
It's also the "power of uber darkness" that Xnort went away with Mr. Darkness to train and learn. Apparently he picked it up quick, because he was only gone for less than a full blog post's time. XD
Next up... what's on the other side of the swamp? It's the hidden Namek village!
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